Sunday, October 31, 2004
being some time since i actually blogged. dun really have the mood to blog for the last week. writer's block? me? a writer? na! just someone tat jus pens down one's thought...tats all. well had a very VERY heavy dinner last thur over at billy bombers. man! it's really worth it! me and ting went in on a very empty tummy and came out really over stuffed with food! we had to struggle like crazy to jus put food into our mouths...ya...it's tat much food...look at da pics man! seeing is believing. :P
- +Billy Bombers! It's DA Bomb!+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 11:53 PM
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her drink choice...pink strawberry...only pink k! 
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 11:52 PM
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choco milk shake! for me! me! ME ONLY! na...my baby can have some of it... :P
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 11:50 PM
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my choice...fish & chip minus the chips with steak...
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 11:49 PM
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my baby's choice...chicken and baby ribs...
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 11:48 PM
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our dessert....tat we had to really stuff in into our tummys!
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 11:45 PM
Saturday, October 30, 2004
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*pls note tat only one "THE AMAZING SALT SHAKER!" is allowed per family. salt shaker's bottle and shape may tend to differ from picture. also, hand may differ from actual picture. and hand may tend to roam around.*
TIS SUPER SERVICE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY C.K PTE LTD.
- +The Amazing Salt Shaker!+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:46 AM
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can tis be done? Yup Yup! by yours truly
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:34 AM
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
ok.....i'm having a really bad head now. pain is like shooting inside my head, fighting like there's no tomolo. and i've to be the one tat has to suffer. 2 reasons....
1) I'm really sick....
2) the pain comes from after knocking into the signboard. (refer to below for picture details. :P)
I MUST BE BLIND NOT TO SEE THE SIGNBOARD IN FRONT OF ME!!
ok....the only excuse i can offer myself is tat it's raining at that point of time and everyone'e rushing to get to work..me included. as i was walking fast, out of no where popped out a signboard and that stupid signboard knocked in to me! whhaaa! YA! it's the signboard tat knocked into me! NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND!!! at least i feel better in tis way...man! wat happening to me??? normally i dun get tis kinda stuff....knocking into things and tripping over myself....hee! think i must have gotten some of meiting's character in me. always knocking into things. :P well....it's better....i'll take away all her faults and put it in me...at least tat way. only one get hurts. one hurt better then two rite? :) well....with no futher delays.....the suidice photos! whahaha!
- +The Day A Signboard Knocked Into Me+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 11:50 PM
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+Yes...I've Finally Grown Up+
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 11:48 PM
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+The Signboard That Knocked Into Me+
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 11:47 PM
Sunday, October 24, 2004
wat a cold day to begin with...it's like being raining for the past few days already...when is it gonna stop? being freezing like hell these 2 days. ya...it's the monsoon season...but who's counting anyway...
I WANNA GO ON A TRIP! MY GRADUATION TRIP! BUT NO ONE'S GOING!!!
but then again....no one's going...stewpig kenneth tats suppose to company me backs out at the last min. can't blame...we've switched from taiwan to aust to jap to korea to like a million places! and we still can't be fix at a destination. crap! wat a waste a of time planning! now unless my bro still wans to go on his trip, if not i dun think i'll be going anywhere tis year end. guess i'll have to be stuck in rainy singapore for the holidays...
went to chinablack with wong long last nite. and MAN! it's like being in an army camp! there were like sooooo many botaks! POP maybe? i dun know....to me, having tons and tons of army guys only means a few things...
army guys=trouble=fights=horny guys="free shows ofr us to view when they're trying to pick gals up"=drunk guys="lagi more free shows to see how they act in stupid ways"
by the end of the night, me and wong long were more like laughing our heads off at them rather then dancing the night away. but then again wong long, are you not one of them in a way? you're a regular remember? wahahahaha! man! the botaks were so lame in picking up gals..but some are slick i've to admit. but then again...the gals are just sluts to begin with. no offence gals...but u have to be there to see for yourself to know wat i mean.
example 1.
there were tis 2 gals dressed in white tops dancing near us. oen was quite young and of cause the other quite old. looking back...it's more like mummy bring daughter out to club tat kind! :P anyway...tis brunch of botaks were like all over them...making a circle or box round them so they sorta can't get out. and man! they were like pushing me all over the place. and giving me stares and such! it's like finally when i can't take it anymore and i just shouted out loud. "fuckers! u wan the gals take them! i just wan my space to dance!" "fucking army botaks!" well...tat seems to work...a few of them were like backing off a bit. after a while one of more look-able guys manage to hook up with the young one. and was like dancing away with her like no one's there. it's funny though. a tall guy trying to dirty dance with a really short gal. and oh yes! they tried to lock tongues as well! man! it's so funny! the guy had to bent down like crazy to reach the gal! wong long was like laughing his loudest laugh and it kinda alert them. in fact, most of the ppl around the couple were like laughing away at them! it's such a funny scene. and yeah. in the process of like trying to dance and kiss, they again manage to push and step on A LOT OF PEOPLE. man! it's like they own the club. after like the second or third time when they step on my feet, i elbowed the guy's rib and elbow the gal's head. "sorry man! i'm dancing...go somewhere else to kiss of you wanna k?" was my reply to him when he was staring down at me. and boy! was i loud in saying tat. after tat was being said, both the guy and gal just went off sheepishly to somewhere else...TO ALL BOTAKS...IF U WANNA DANCE AND KISS AT THE SAME TIME, DO IT WITH STYLE K? REMEMBER...U DUN OWN THE DANCE FLOOR. and ya...the old gal tat was with the young one, she was left all alone......by herself ....
example 2.
there's tis lady like 30-35 plus tats always alone. wong long tells me tats she comes to chinablack alone everytime. er.....wat can i say bout her? oh yeah....last then half an hour on the dance floor, she got picked up and went off kissing with another botak.
example 3.
there's tis group of fat and ugly botaks trying to pick up every SINGLE gals tat's on the dance floor. YA! EVERY SINGLE ONE. but. no can do. they end up with zit. how i know? cause i overheard them telling each other "na bei! how come tonite i can't get any gals? so suay!" when me and wong long came out of the club. we happened to be in the same lift. man! boys....check yourself out first before you go check out others.
so therefore...my ending statments..botaks army guys are horny bastards and super despo's...period...
and ya. i did not pick up any gals. cause for a very strong reason, my baby is always in my mind last nite. cause of a promise i made to her. but then again...really wish tat she's next to me last nite. i know she'll enjoy wats going on and wats happening last nite. she'll be laughing herself to bits!
- +Things Bout Army Guys+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 1:43 PM
taken from "Emily's book of strange"
Follow the leader.
See strange.
Emily sees the world through a tangled web.
Hear strange.
Emily hears everything...and listens to nothing.
Speak strange.
Emily may speak softly...but she is alwaysloud and clear.
A picture speaks a thousand weirds.
Think strange.
It doesn'tmatter which way you go...as long as you get lost.
Emily may be little...but she thinks big.
Be strange.
Emily isn't scared of monsters...she create zonsters!
If emily has her way...everyday would be gray.
Let there be dark.
Now get strange or get lost.
- +Emily+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:34 AM
Saturday, October 23, 2004
some questions bout life tat i've always thought it's interesting...
Do bald people get dandruff?
Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
Are marbles made of marble?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Do stairs go up or down?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?
Can mute people burp?
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?
- +Life Questions+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:32 AM
Friday, October 22, 2004
Examination Results
Student : 0005218C NG CHUN KIAT
Academic Year : 2004/2005
Course : DIPLOMA IN MECHATRONICS SEMESTER 2
Subject Grade
Management of Enterprise----B
Technical Communication Skills 3----B
NetPrep-Local Area Networks----D
Final Year Project----C
Rapid Prototyping and Tooling----B
Virtual Reality----B
Result : PASSED - COMPLETED THE COURSE OF STUDY FOR THE DIPLOMA IN MECHATRONICS
YES!! four and a half year of studying and waiting just for today! TODAY!!! i passed! pass as in i'm a graduate!! hahahaha!!! finally it's my day today! nothing can get me down! it's being a freaking week and lots of things had happened. but nothing is gonna get me down! for starters....i've passed my exams and i'm done with my final year and therefore, i'm done with TP! for seconds...my baby's back with me! it's offical! she 's my girlfriend. gone are the days of darkness and sorrow...back are the days of happiness and joy! baby ting....i promise you tis gal...never am i gonna lie to you again.....one time was all it takes to let me learn my lesson the hard way. i'll make you happy always with me k? muacks! love ya lots!
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 9:45 PM
Thursday, October 21, 2004
+The Little Booger That Could+
While some individuals might (mistakenly) equate the size of a coutry with its capabilities and general legitimacy, those of us with inside knowledge makeno such mistake. in a flash of patriotic fervor, we get misty-eyed counting the ways this snot-sized island nation makes us think twice.
1) We really don't mind being one of the cleanest cities around. We get to walk down the street while admiring the clouds for more than two seconds without stepping into a pile of dog shit.
2) On this bureaucratically pristine dot we call home, "coffee money" just means 70 cents (kopi tiam) or $4 (cafe).
3) Big cars and bigger gardens may be scarce, but those who enjoy them rarely fall victim to kidnappers or drive-by shootings.
4) Hindu temples exist Chinatown and mosques in Little India without incidence of bloodshed.
5) At hawker centers, we sometimes leave our handbags unattended-opps!-and troop off to buy char kway teow, only to return to find them still in place.
6) Our international record-worthy feat of furnishing the squatter settlement hordes of the 1960s with proper-albeit rainbow colored-public housing in just over one generation.
7) Singapore-made boots that save lives-seriously. Steel-soled Blast and Fragment Resistant boots invented by Andrew Vaz, formerly of the Defence Ministry, are of bullet proof material. A landmind-clearing worker in Sri Lanka escapes a blast with just a broken leg-thanks to these babies.
8) We can turn on the tap and guzzle what spurts forth without fear of contracting dysentery or cholera, despite a percentage of our water being recycled from the depths of the city sewers.
- +The Little Booger That Could+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 1:59 PM
did not know tat ting look so cute in my jacket. and all wrapped up! if i were to zipped it up somemore, i would not be able to find her. she'll just be like a cloth's rack. a standing display for my jacket. :P
- +The Thing Bout My Baby And My Gore-Tex Jacket+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 1:44 PM
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Close-UP Of My Piggy Baby..
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 12:11 PM
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The Blown-Up Piggy!
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 12:10 PM
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My Baby Always...
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 12:06 PM
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The Cover-Up Job.
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 12:04 PM
man...these few days area like so weird for me. both in dreams and in real life. well....for starters, i'm still having tat freaking dream and it's up to the point where i will jump out of bed and can't contine the dream. and up to now, i still can't see how the gal looks like. man! i think i need to see a shrink if any of tis carries on. or perhaps a dream interpreater? can't be i'm alway having the same dream over and over again.
over to real life. last night at zouk was fun. or rather the most fun nite tat i've had in tis coming one year. the whole gang's back! finally! minus off fenando and grace tat is. but the people tat i would to see most came down. namely, spencer, peter and ayu(married at tis point of time). it's like wat a surprise! spanz had problems of him own and therefore he had like disappear from us for coming to one year. man.....it's being hard on him. details shall not be disclosed as it's his personal life and it's not a beautiful thing to hear bout.
oh yeah! ginger AKA lyn and i finally tok last nite. it's like wat? two years plus have passed since we first saw each other at zouk and other clubs. but we just did not have the chance to tok each other. how we know each other last night goes something like tis...patrick and xiao jian and me were at mambo. my usual dance spot with the gang. patrick and me are like bringing xiao jian down for the first time. it's jian's 1st time going to zouk. ok? then after a while of dancing, i notice tis trans.(ah gua, "sisters" watever you guys like to call it. just dun be rude k? be nice ppl.) looking at jian. after looking harder, it hit me tat she's ginger. well...i guess i had a little too much to drink at tat point of time. :P i went up to ginger and told her tat jian is kinda interested in her type of people. wahahahA! jian! this one is for you man! you the MAN! well....after i said tat jian wanna know her, she surprise by by asking me back...."i thought your group dun like us ah-guas?" wooooo! i was like shocked and super surprise.
me : "u mean u know me?"
lyn : "not really know lah. know by face. u've being at zouk for like so long already. more then 3 years rite?"
me : "ya...i've noticed you as well."
lyn : "issit? thought you old gang at the center platform dun like our kind of ppl."
me : "huh? na! nope. dun think it tat way."
well....anyways....to cut a long story short, i knew ginger/lyn last nite after like 2-3 years and a small misunderstanding, and i pushed jian to company her all the way till 3 and i danced away like nobody's fool till 3am.
oh yeah....i also knew tat the world is such a small small place to meet ppl. met a new fren last nite. i guess we were both shocked when we intro each other. na.....he's the one tat more shock i would say. after he heard my name. rite bro???? i will not tok much here. cause things are not yet set. the game play is not set yet ppl. let's bid my time shall we? like wat i always say........wat goes round come round.
It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world.-----------------Chaos Theory.
maybe tat could be used to relate to my dream. it's gonna rain........man....tat should be nice...only tat i have an interview at 2!!!!!
crap......it's raining now.....
- +Werid Stuff+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 10:54 AM
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
wow! i'm still having tat weird and strange dream everynite. it's being like wat? 5-6 days? 6-78 days? man....i've lost count of the days already. and it's starting to freak me out slowly. i mean...i dun dream much...normally i'm be tired and when eyes closed, i'll sleep like a log. nothing more can disturb. and also, how can it be tat a person has the same dream everynite? and wat's weird is tat in those dreams, details are slowly like being disclosed to me slowly. one detail by one detail at a nite. it's like catching a drama series. "tune in every morning at 4 plus am for....kiat's dream!" tat kinda thing. WEIRD. anyway...so far tis is wat happened in the dream as of now.
the dream is set in an old war time period. i'm like carrying tis important stuff or something worth big money or some food and cash i think. then out of nowhere tis gal came up to me and stab me in the back (it's either stab me inthe back or just attacked me). i was wounded and laying on the floor already. the gal came over and picked up watever tat i've drop. looked at me and said sorry. (ya...she can actually say sorry to me). and the funny part now is tat i told her stuff like "never mind. it's ok. u need tis stuff more then i need it." "dun feel bad bout killing me. maybe tis is the way i was meant to go." "i dun blame you or anything, it's all fate." well...the gal was like crying very badly and i still have the strength to crawl over to wipe away her tears and make try to make her smile. wow?! where did i get the strength from man? anyways...she's really crying tat badly now. i just told her something like"no worries...it's better tat i go then you rite? i'm wounded and may be dying any moment. you're still alive and well...you better run before the enemy catches you." "you're strong, i know tat. pls live on. dun look back on wat has happened k? everything happens for a reason. i know you're strong. i know u can do it. and get out of tis place.(*note! i got kinda freak out when i remember saying to the gal tat i know she's strong*) and last nite....the gal finally stop crying and started toking. she was saying something like "i'm really sorry for wat i've done and given a choice i'll not have done anything to you. i'm really really sorry...(stuff like tat). i dun know wat to do now. i'll repay you back in another lifetime. i promise. i really promise. then i think it's my turn to speak. i think i told her something like "never mind...u dun have to do anything for me. i just wan you to live on happily. cause you are worth it. fate has it tat i'll meet you tis way and so let it be then. then at tat poitn of time, some enemies came and wanted to kill the both of us. i manage to like fling myself at her, protecting her from the guns tat they have. it's like i'm on top of her and all they did was to shoot at me. so i manage to receive like a lot of shots while she's hiding under me. finally when they're happy with wat they've done, they left us alone and walked off. the gal was like turning me over and crying and all the kinda stuff..screaming at me why do i protect her? why do i still look after her? why do i still care if she lives or not. after all, she robbed me first. to which i told her tat i dun know. i just wanted to protect her only. dun know why dun know how. only wanted to make sure tat she is ok. by tis time, the dream is coming to an end. i told her something like "look...u dun have to worry. i'll always look after you. if u say u want to repay me in another lifetime, i'll tell you there is no need to. instead, i'll rather look after you in the lifetime u want to repay me. i'll always be behind u. always 2 steps behind.
OK!!! AT TAT POINT OF TIME I JUMP OUT OF BED! cause tat dream is really freaked me out! i went to offer joss sticks and chain smoked for a while. why? cause of these few things...
1) i dun remember dreams TAT clearly before.
2) there is like no way dreams connect themselves nite after nite.
3) i only told 1 person before tat she will only have to turn back her head and i'll be 2 steps behind looking after her.
wat happened today really freaks me out totally. hope i will not have to dream bout it again. and the interesting thing is tat the gal's face is unclear throughout the whole time. 1 word....WEIRD...
- +Weird Dream+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:02 PM
man! wats up with my comp??! #$%%^#@#^%&^@!!!! it's like acting up again. tis has gotta be like the 5th time tis past 2 weeks tat i've being trying to get it fixed. wats the freaking problem? first it's IE can't work. then it's comp always hang. and now some stupid problem. man! when will it all end? i've had enough with my fucking comp! issit a sign to change a new one? then if so....i'll have to forget bout my trip. argh!!! freaking pissed off now.
- +Freaking Comp+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 3:49 PM
it's finally raining. after such a long time. there's nothing like a cool and refreshing rain at night. really does wonders to a person. at a night like tis, people tends to think bout things if they're not asleep. wondering wt am i thinking bout now. there's like a whole lot of thoughts inside my head. but somehow just cannot gather them all together. loose thoughts i would say.
u know...it's a weird feeling seeing ting all over again. dun know why upon seeing her today, i just feel so happy...like a small school boy blushing fron head to toe. just seeing her face is enough to make my day. and man! do i feel happy today. i hope she does too. it's really being a long long time since i last heard her laugh, last saw her smile. i really do miss her smiles and laughter. i miss them everyday. and how i longed to hear and see them again. well....today i did....and i'm happy with wat tonight has bring to me. the nite has brought to me her smiles and laughs. and i'm thankfull or tat.
- +Rain+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 3:27 AM
Monday, October 18, 2004
still thinking bout Mr Big. and thinking of the band brings back memories. tis is one of the song tat i think best describe both me and ting rite now. the lyrics are a bit messy. but only some part i can relate to how i feel. not the wholesong thought. it's like a song both me and her can relate. but then again...i do wish tat we will not end like the song's ending.
well....gotta hit the slack. good nite to the world. sweet dreams to ting. and slp tight for me. *yawn* kiat.......z.zzzzzz......zzzz...zz..zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Mr Big.
Just Take My Heart.
It's late at night and neither one of us is sleeping
I can't imagine living my life after you're gone
Wondering why so many questions have no answers
I keep on searching for the reason why we went wrong
Where is our yesterday
You and I could use it right now
But if this is goodbye...
Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you, but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go
Here we are about to take the final step now
I just can't fool myself, I know there's no turning back
Face to face it's been an endless conversation
But when the love is gone you're left with nothing but talk
I'd give my everything
If only I could turn you around
But if this is goodbye...
Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you, but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go
- +A Song Long Lost+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:05 AM
wat does it means when someone scolds you for nothing? called you a bitch out of no reason? of cause it's not me. i'm a guy...(tat is..last i checked) ok...lame jokes aside. but then wat does it really means? i dun wanna see her or hear cry again. but i did just now. my heart hurts again when i heard her crying over the phone while toking to me. of no reason, one of her fren called her a bitch. it's like so ou of blue. man! wats he thinking? so freaking childish. it's over jon. everything's over. stop acting like a small boy and think tat u can own the world. you dun own the world k? the world owns you. the world is not your playground. you are just a spakle of sand in the world. wat goes around comes around. it's just not your time yet. so pls..."enjoy" yourself more. you'll get wats coming to you in the end. u know....there's a reason why there is a god. his/her role is to be fair to everyone and makes sure tat everyone get wats coming to him/her in the end. stop being so childish and think tat she can be broken down into pieces and be fixed back by you whenever you feel like it k? pls...even as a fren, or if u think of her still as a fren, pls respect her. she is not some plaything. she is not your toy. she is a human just like you and me. a breathing living human k. and pls meiting...there's no point in crying over him. he's just out to get you. out to have fun. do u wan him to get his way? i dun think so rite. pls...be strong...i know you are strong. u know u are strong as well. pick yourself up. he's not worth u crying over. ppl like him should be put out of your life. put down and put out.
this is for you ting...quoted from mr big...
Hold on little girl. Show me what he's done to you. Stand up little girl. A broken heart can't be that bad. When it's through, it's through. Fate will twist the both of you. So come on baby come on over. Let me be the one to show you. I'm the one who wants to be with you. Deep inside I hope you feel it too. Waited on a line of greens and blues. Just to be the next to be with you. Build up your confidence. So you can be on top for once. Wake up who cares about. Little boys that talk too much. I seen it all go down. Your game of love was all rained out. So come on baby, come on over. Let me be the one to hold you. Why be alone when we can be together baby. You can make my life worthwhile. And I can make you start to smile.
so pls, smile again. cause you're worth it. and i know tis more then anyone else. your smile is worth a thousand suns put together. i really hope i dun have to hear or see you cry again. not tat i hate you crying or wat. but it really pains me to see you like tis. watever happens baby...just turn back your head. i'll always be two steps behind. catching you whenever you fall. always. tis is a promise i've made to you. and both you and i know tat i'll keep tis promise no matter watever happens.
- +It's late at nite and either one of us is sleeping+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 3:03 AM
Sunday, October 17, 2004
*YAWN* just wake up not long ago. man...had tat same weird dream again...dun know why these few days kept having tat same "old war dream where i got killed and robbed." weird man! especially at the chalet. kept dreaming bout it. where i got killed and robbed by tis gal in old war times. and i kept saying to her it's ok. u can having my stuff but why do u have to kill me? and stuff like "i know u need tis more then me so take it", "dun worry, i dun blame you for killing me, maybe tis was meant to happen." goodness!! wat a strange dream man!
back from the chalet tis afternoon. did not do much. luck has it tat our frenship overthere is quite srtong. if not we'll really be SUPER BORED over there. why? good question.
1) the chalet is at a super super out-of-reach place on top of a small "hill".
2) only the guys went. (1st nite only 3 guys.)
3) really nothing to do over there.
i'm not complaining. it's suppose to be sorta of bonding session between the guys and ani. but hey gal...we understand. the fasting month is upon you. but really wish you were here with us all the while. did not even catch you when u came down on sat for a while, cause we were at wild wild wet. man! 3 guys on the 1st nite! in a big chalet somemore! kinda freaky! we stayed in the same room the whole nite. cause the whole chalet feels kinda freaky. hey! it's at changi....wat else to expect? it's a las min thingy. so nothing much we can do bout it. the walk there from changi village was enough to kill us! wahahaha! we did not expect it to be tat long man! and yes....our dong ge. a big THANKS to you man! our part-time housekeeper over at the chalet during the 3 days. everything went on smooth and well while you are around.
nothing much to tok bout the chalet anyways. did the usual stuff. bond, tok cock, crap, majong, bbq, wat else is there to do? relax there i would say...everyone's being having a hard time over our papers. and some of the guys are going into the army. so not much time left to bond. well...we'll just have to make the most out of it i guess.
at least i have the chalet and a brunch of crappy frens to pass the last weekend away with....man! i dun know wat i'll do or wat i'll think if i'm left alone to for the weekend. with parents out of the country and bro away, i'm like all alone. not tat i mind facing my four walls, but sometimes thoughts just come out flowing just like tat. *snap of a finger* yup. just like tat. and sometimes i really hated those thoughts. i waish they'll just go away....but the more i try to forget, the more i rememeber. the harder i try, the more it gets back at me.
you're one tat my eyes wanna see.
you're one tat my heart yearns to meet.
you're one tat i wanna keep.
you're always the one for me.
wat a life i'm having now! bored, jobless, alone, pissed, angry, and a mixture of everything. not tat i mind. my aim is to just enjoy myself for a while, then find a job, get myself stuck in the working life phase, and just sit and wait to die. wow....so tis is wat life's bout. lame.
yeah! i'll tell you guys bout my part-time job. man! it's interesting! u guys will really envy mi! for $7/hour....in an ID(interior design) company, tis is wat i do.
1) cut paper. (really! i meant just cut paper to fit to some kinda size.)
2) zap stuff. ranging from papers to materials on the copying machine.
3) paste papers and materials on mounting board.
4) sent stuff to hotels. (in cabs mind you!)
5) waiting for time to pass.
ya...i guess tats bout it. tats the good side. but the downside is they'll only call me up if they're rushing projects. so i can work for a week straight, 10 or more hours per day, to not working at all. tats a bit crappy. but hey....it's good money!
man....my stupid mind keeps flashing back to the dreams i keep having these few days. head hurts rite now....(could it be the dream?) gonna take watever pills i can find to ease the pain....gotta lie down dr a while...later guys...
- +Chalet After-Thoughts+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 8:47 PM
Friday, October 15, 2004
Finally! it's time to relax. going to a class chalet at changi! man! dun know wat kinda stuff i'll see...why do i say tis? i dun know....maybe cause of a weird dream i had last nite. dreamt tat i was a guy in some old war time period. and tat there was death and war everywhere. i was carring tis very important or expensive stuff with me.(i can't remember.) then out of no where i was stabbed from behind by tis gal. and then she came up to me and robbed me of the stuff tat i was carrying. *scary* and the interesting and weird part is wat i've told her. something like "take it...no problem...u dun have to do it till like tis...u can just ask and i'll give it to you willing...why do you have to kill me?" and then i think i died. wahahah!!! wat a weird dream man! me! in anicent war time! :P OMG!!! it's 3.50! gotta fly! need to pack bag, PS2, and bath and meet the gang at 4!!!!! carp! kiat....signing out! blog next week to tell you guys bout my new $7/hr job cutting paper! wahahaha!!! good life i have! later ppl!
- +Time To Relax+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 3:37 PM
to meiting, the one tat i love and the one tat i've lost for good. life picks itself up after a huge storm. we've just gone through tat. you've cried and i've shed a few tears. but life does goes on. i wish to stop time back to those times. but i know i can't. the hurt had being caused and done. saddness has being felt. tears had being shed. wat else can we do now? except to carry on wat's left of our lifes. pls be strong. you're strong. i know. tats one point bout you tat i really admire you about. so pls....be tat strong gal. i wanna see you smile again. but i know i will not have the chance to see you again. pls smile again. you're at your most beautiful when you're smiling and happy. i will carry tis regret of mind in my heart and keep it there. also, i'll keep the love for you in the heart as well...cause tats where it belong. twice, it took me too late to know i love you. once you went off. the second time i went off. but only to know in time tat the one i love is you. but it's too late for you even by then. so....pls....remember to cover yourself up when it cold. and remember to cover with when sleeping. pls remember to have your meals and stay off milk. you can't take milk remember? also....look out for objects in front of you while walking. dun go knocking yourself into stuff while walking. try to sleep early as well....rather then staying up so late at nite. no more bad dreams, weird dreams or nightmares for you anymore k? onlu sweet and sugarly dreams shall come to you now. no one is alone in tis world. there is always someone out there for you. the only thing tat i can't promise you is not to lie. i lied and look wat it did to us. it tore us apart. i believe you. i always believe you no matter wat. but it's me myself tat make you lose your trust in me. sorry for being like tat. it's all my fault. you dun have to suffer any of tis. be tat strong and smiling gal ok? still remember the promise tat i made to you? tat i'll always be around when ever you're down? it's still vaild. always. no matter wat happens in watever case, turn your head around, you'll see me waiting. always two steps behind. without fail. cause i love you and i never ever wanna see you down again. pls remember to take care k? and smile always.
to tingying. yes. i did lie i had a gf at tat time. it's my fault. no doubt. i thought i had feelings for you and i allow things to happen between us. yes. you can say tat it's never your fault. it's ok. no problem. so i'm the one always finding chances to hold your hand, hug you, kiss you and stuff like tat rite? ok...it's fine. i thought we click. i thought we had quite a lot to tok to each other bout. but then again, i was wrong. ok...i may find the chance to hold your hand. i may find the chance to kiss you. i may find the chance to hug you. but then again....who's the one asking me out to catch "art of the devil" suddenly out of the blue? who was the one tat rest her head on my shoulder at "Times" the bookshop at PS? who's the one tat held my hand at phuture? who's the one tat kissed me in phuture? who's the one tat said tats she's tempted to kiss me if i look at her in the eye? who's the one tat held my arm while walking to simpang from her bus stop during one night? who's the one tat i kissed and kissed me at the playground? who the one tat give me the lovebite at the playgound? did tat person push me away when we kissed? did tat person rejected me when we kissed? did tat person say no when we kissed? who's the person tat let me hold her hand while walking her home? who was the person tat told me tat she had feelings for me? who's the person tat told me to give me sometime to think bout my gf, her and me, think bout wat i wan? who i wonder could it be you? i dun know..... perhaps your evil twin maybe? ya....i guess tats her rite? it's all her doing. not yours rite? no....you're such a good gal. you're not at fault at all. nothing was your fault coming from everything tat had happened rite? well...like i said. it's ok...there's no need to compare and make out who's at fault. it's all over. tis is not a point to make out who's rite or who's wrong. rather, tis entry is somehow how i feel. if u can push away your side of the blame tat easy, then i've really made a wrong choice in knowing you as a fren. it has cause me to lose someone tat loves me tat much. it has cause me to lie to someone tat cares for me tat much. for wat i thought i believed in, for wat i thought tat i've felt, for everything tat i've worked so hard for, everything...well...it's gone. poof! just like a puff of smoke. well tinging....remember tis 3 points of life hard...cause it's happen to you. not you alone though...to everyone.
1.) it takes two hands to clap...ALWAYS.
2.) you reap wat you sow.
3.) wat goes round comes round.
so pls...tingying...pls contine to think tat you're not at fault. cause you're entitled to wat you think. i've reaped wat i sowed, i've got my "wat goes round comes round". life's a bitch. live with it.
- +Wat Goes Round Comes Round+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 2:54 PM
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
I wish i can be the one to wipe away your tears away again. i wanna be th the one there you for as long as i can live. i wan to be the one who can make you happy not sad. i wanna hlod your hand and hug you all over again. can i? i can only hope and pray for it.
you say: "no one really loves me."
i say: " i love you."
you say: " i'm too tired."
i say: "i will give you rest."
you say: "it's impossible."
i say: "all things are possible."
you say: "i can't go on."
i say: "i'll go on beside you."
you say: "i can't figure things out."
i say: " i'll direct your steps."
you say: "i can't do it."
i say: "you can do all things"
you say: "i dun have enough faith"
i say: "i shall provide the faith for you again.
you say: "i'm always worried and fustrated."
i say: "cast your worries and fustrations onto ME."
you say: "i feel all alone"
i say: "i will never leave you or forsake you ever again.
i love you meiting. from without knowing to knowing it, to breaking your trust to hurting you, from making you smile to making you cry, from the past till now. i've always love you. always. and i'll still carrying on loving you. everytime i close my eyes. i still see you. god give us the strength to go thru tis. it's a mistake i should never ever had touched. and i really regret it a lot alot. i can only hope to hold you hand, to hug you once more. to make you smile and be happy again.
I LOVE YOU MEITING...ALWAYS...
- +A Promise For Life+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:52 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
+I Miss You...I Really Do...Tell Me Wat Can Be Done Now. AnyThing...Anything Tat You Tell Me I'll Do It. I Wanna Make You Happy Again...I Wanna See You Smile Again.+
-
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 2:36 AM
Monday, October 11, 2004
you tell me tat you were never the only one. yes and no. yes...i do strayed away. i did have another. the part where we kissed yes i did describe here. it was at tat point of time when i thought i felt something. it was at tat point of time. not now k. no. you were the only one. no matter where i've gone, i still come back to you. u said 4 times? are you sure it's 4 times or 1 time? somehow i still listen to you, believe u, trust u, i still love you. but do u know tat? nope. u think otherwise rite? u think tat since i can go for another gal then i dun love you at all. you're wrong...so wrong. i've always love you. even up to today. even up to now. it's not tat i wanna compare. but did i say anything when jon cheated you tat nite? no. i believe you wholehearthedly. without a doubt. i know tat you were cheated out of your feelings. i dun wan you to go through the hurt u went through again.
you said you wanna cry. tat you're crying tears of blood. but do you know tat my heart is bleeding for you as well? did you know tat? the thought of losing you to a stupid mistake is just not worth it. it's really not worth it. i wish tat things can be undone now. tat i can turn back time to set things rite again. given a chance, i'll give us a try again. but it's too late. everything's too late. u said you're crying every nite. did u know tat i did not sleep oso every nite? tat wat happen for the past few weeks was playing in my mind every nite? i've been living in regret these past few weeks.
wat now? i asked myself. wats there to be done now? wats there to carry on? i have no idea. i really have no idea on wat to do now. can you tell me wat can be done? wat can be done to save us? to save wat we have now? i dun know anymore. except for loving you, i dun know anything now. it's hurting so much. i dun wanna see you getting hurt. please stop doing any hurt to yourself. i never asked you for anything before. tis will be the only time tat i ask you tis. please stop hurting yourself. it's not worth. i'm not worth it. are we meant to be together? it's being a hard road for us tis past one year. are we really not meant to be together? is it really meant to be tis way? tat we have to end things like tis? who can i look to for the ans? can u tell me wat i should? wat we should do? is there any us to even begin now? i dun know. there's very little hope in tat. who can i turn to? can someone show me the light? can someone show me the way out? i can't see the light anymore. it's so dark in here. so very dark.....
+Who Can Lead Me Out Of The Dark Tunnel? I've Been Wandering For So Long Tat I Can't Find My Way Anymore+
- +Never Ever Again+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 9:10 PM
tell me now then. wat can i do? i want you back as always. but the hurt has already being done and everything is set in it's place. can i change things back to the way they were? i dun think so. can i love you again? no. you will not let me do tat anymore. i dun wanna see you hurt yourself anymore please. i beg you....please stop doing all tis kinda things to yourself. it's not worth it. i'm not worth it. if there's anything i can do to ease your pain or take your pain away please tell me. i'll do it. i wanna see you smile again...
-
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:54 PM
sometimes i wonder. how hard can it be to stay in a relationship? how hard does one have to be while being in a relationship. issit really tat hard to maintain one? how am i not trying enough?
*I SUX AT HANDLING RELATIONSHIP*
I know i sux at it. maybe i shoud never go find one. cause everyrthing turns out to be the same. ending up hurting each other. then wats the point of having a relationship? so tat i can show off to people? "hey! look! my galfren is sooooooo b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l!" "check out my gal! she's the hottest!" wat's all tis crap??! a girlfriend is not a display item to be shown to others. not a toy. not a pet. so wats the point of having a galfren? for sex? someone tat u can shag it out when u're horny? someone to please your sexual cravings? someone to blow u and let u cum into her mouth when u wanna burst? tats call a sexual mate, a pillow fren, or put in lay man's term, a SLUT. nothing else. na...it's not tat either. i've never treated her in tis way. NEVER. cause sex is to be enjoyed while loving each other. and i do enjoy having sex with her is due to the fact tat i love her.
then wats a galfren/boyfren for? to be there for each other in times of need? to love each other forever and ever? to make each other happy everyday? to share each other's problem? to understand each other very well? to be each other's pillar of strength? to give each other hope? to love each other for their own faults? to stay true to each other? nonsense! wats all tis crap? nothing is worth loving now anymore. but tat my own point of view. wats there to love? i've tried so many times. so many times till i'm tired now. really really tired. i wanna stop falling. but can i? it's seems like i'm still falling down, down into the bottomless pit. wats at the end of the pit? i really wanna know bout tat. where will i land. when will i stop falling. i wanna sleep in peace without nitemare. i wanna close my eyes not thinking bout anything. i wan peace.
wats wrong with me? i feel tat i can't keep my relationships in check. issit the gal or does the problem lies with me? i dun know. does my heart sways too fast and too easy? i dun know. or am i really afraid of being alone? tat i can't make do with someone by my side? i really have no idea. or issit tat i see one i like one? just trying out till the rite one comes? i'v broken lots of hearts and oso my heart has being broken quite a number of times. why can't i learn my lesson? wats wrong? am i thinking rite? or i just dun wanna see wats in front of me and just go bindly to my my heart leads me.
over the past year, i've had one tat really love me. i know. cause i dare to admit to myself tat i oso love her as well. tis is one thing tat i'll never admit. loving someone. but it's really a mind twisting suitation on relationship. i can't love someone. tat i know it myself. so when the feeling hits me, i really dun know wat to do. i can't face my wat i'm feeling at tat point of time. i dun know wat came over me to let her wait so long. and when i know tat i really do love her and am ready to accept her, problems came bout. when we're finally together, i felt something for another gal. wats tis?? things happened and i thought i felt something for her. but after sorting out thoughts from last nite to today, i do know who i really. it's you u know. i really wanted you. after all tis, after wat happened, i still choose you. i still wanted you. i still love you. just liked i've always love you. but it's all too late now. the reason why i choose to remain frens with tat gal is cause i know i can overcome wat i thought i felt for her. it's a mistake. it's all a big mistake thinking tat i like her. it's even a bigger mistake keeping her as a fren when i know tat meiting will not like it. it's even a bigger mistake meeting her to tok bout her problems behind meiting's back.
+Retribuation+
i had it coming to me rite? of all the thing i've done. bad karma collected over the years. even now i know how wat's meiting doing, kinda worries me. everything is over between me and her. or rather, everything is over. the past year has being a blur. but tis blur has made me fall in love. i really wish i could keep tis blur going on forever. but it's my own fault tat things turn out tis way. i can only blame myself. for putting her through the hurt she's going through. for the pain she's going through. she dun deserve any of tis. it's my own fault. i thought i was the one to make her happy, make her smile, make her feel safe with me. but instead, i did the reverse of all tis. i brought her pain, hurt, regret, sadness and much more.
+I can only walk down the road of regret from now on and carry the sins of wat i've done on my back.+
i'm sorry meiting, for wat i've done to you. it's all my fault and i'll regret it for as long as i'm alive. it's my fault for making you cry, my fault for siding with her, my fault for not having eyes to see who my frens are, my fault for making you hurt yourself, my fault for making you go through something u're not suppose to go through, my fault for making u feel upset, my fault for knowing her, my fault for meeting her, my fault for making u cry everytime, my fault for not keeping my promise to make you happy.
- +FREE?+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:44 PM
Saturday, October 09, 2004
wow! had a REALLY heavy dinner just now! went for a japanese buffet dinner with kenneth, ron and dong. went in on a really empty and growling tummy and came out with an overstuffed tummy! :P wahahaha! we really over worked our tummy on tat dinner. after all...food there was really nice! can't remember the name of the place. but will go again with the gang. thought it's a bit pricey, $40++ per person. but they really serve nice food there! i had snow crabs! (i think they're called snow crabs) man! were they ever the sweetest crab meat i've ever tasted. kept pigging out myself on the crabs. they're SOOO SWEET! oso...their naba(a kinda soup base thingy served on paper heated up at the bottom.) is kinda nice as well...i swear i've gained at least another kg in weight! not tat i mind! wahahaha! i seriously could use the weight!
*The Snow Crab* *YUMMY!!*
oh yeah! then there is tis thing going on in the jap place. once in a while they will have some kinda special items only limited to a certain number of ppl. the things like tis....once they call out over the mic tat tis special item will be served, loads of ppl will be like running over to where the waiter is standing...yes...RUNNING! my god! tis shows tat we singaporeans are really tat kiasu! but it's really a big laugh watching them Q-ing up for the items! it's like there's only 15 plates of tis item tats is limited to ppl, and there will be like 20 over to 30 ppl Q-ing up for it! kinda remind of the the hello kitty mac scene. hahahaha! wat a riot!
oh oh oh! i went to the gym for the 1st time in so many years today! i'm kinda shocked oso, at myself. but then again...really wanna work out...wanna tone up my body. wanna look beautiful! wahahaha! nonsense! na! just feel like going to the gym cause i wanna keep fit and dun wanna die young from smoking too much....NA! wrong again! it's actually my reservice is coming up! no tats the real reason why i wanna go to the gym! :P worked out for bout 2 hours. then went to the pool for a cool cool dip. REFRESHING! it's oso being a long time since i last went to the pool. now tats due to not enough time. all the SIP and FYP crap is really dragging me down. no time for anything else...
gonna miss the guys man....even though it's like only half a year tat we've being togther. but then again...time, no matter now long or short, can bind one and another together. ron and dong are going into NS soon i guess...left me and kenneth to stick around, us being the people tat went to NS 1st before coming to TP. well...happy times comes and goes...live with tat.
+The Guys And Gal And Moi+
hhmmmm.....tat GORE-TEX jacket is still stuck in my mind. wondering if i should buy i of not. $95 for a second hand jacket. kinda a bit expensive. dun know even if i will wear it often or not. still pondering...wondering...hhmmm.....lets see...if i really still think of it tomolo then i'll really go buy it. suppose to buy it today....but too shagged out to head over to beach road from sch. went to stuff our tummies instead. :P
wanted to meet TY for supper...but she had problems of her own...well...hope tat she's not too stress out bout her problem...really wished tat i could help. but there's nothing much i can do except to offer her my ear whenever she needs it. can only hope tat she can cheer up and not think bout her problems.
well...i'm signing off now...wanna catch up on my games. being a long long time since i last touched my PS2. it's off to games games and games! :P nites ppl! i'm a free man!
+I'm a free man now...but yet i feel tat something is lost within me. +
- +FOOD!+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 1:20 AM
Friday, October 08, 2004
wow! wat a day! spend the whole day doing nothing. just walk around town. a place i've not been to in such a long long time. but then again....still the same old place. actually went to beach road first cause wong leong wanna get his army stuff done and i wanna look for the SAF standard issued GORE-TEX jacket. went to a few shops to ask around and man! the prices they quoted was really out of tis world. one shop can tell me $160. another $140 and yet another $120. ????? wat the fuck man! finally found one shop tat sells me at $95. i mean! wow! check out the price difference! but the $95 was a second hand piece. must be someone steal it out from his own camp and sold it off for some quick cash. hhhmmmm......$95 for the jacket...even though it's second hand, it's still good. looks like a new piece...except tat the tag is fading off. ok guys....gotta fly like the wind! gotta meet a fren for supper at 85 and man! I'M SUPER LATE! wahahhaa!!!
*still thinking bout the stewpig GORE-TEX jacket.*
*if it's still in my mind by tomolo, i'll get it! :P*
- +After Thoughts+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 1:49 AM
Thursday, October 07, 2004
FINALLY!!!! all my papers are over!! it's officially OVER! wat a rush! WAT A RUSH! the feeling's so GREAT tat i really dun know how to say it out! gonna have the first stress-free lunch tat i've been lacking for ages! later dudes!
- +EXAMS ARE OVER!!+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 10:16 AM
finally! the last paper of my sch life in TP! looking forward to it...hmmm....maybe it's to end it all...tats why i'm looking forward to it? well as the materix saying goes..."everything tat have a begining has an end." i'm finally ending another phase of my life. thanks goodness! it's being so long being stuck in tis bloody sch tat i really can't be bothered to count anymore. dun think i'm going anywhere near books for a while...
time check...1.35AM. in under 10 hours time, i'll be home free! free from books, free from sch, free from everything for the time being. god! wat a rush! gotta plan my trip soon....taiwan or aust? any comments ppl?? :) i'm really torn between these 2 places.
well....gotta grab a quick shower now...being studying downstairs just now and MAN! it's hot! after tat....it's off to la laa land for me! gotta get my ass up pretty early later to continue cramping my brain with more stuff! wish me luck ppl!
gotta fly!
- +The Last Huddle+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 1:32 AM
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
when you cried
i wiped away
all of your tears
when you screamed
i'd fight away
all of your fears
i held your hand
thru all of these years
but you still have
all of me
-
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 7:39 PM
finally....the killer paper has come and gone. LAN. major killer of the year 3 people. somehow i had mixed feelings bout how i did. managed to screwed up some questions...as usual. hope to just pass the paper...it only takes 40 marks to pass it. and after tallying up my marks, think i can make it. now i'm left with only one last paper. which i've no heart to study jus yet. dun know why. maybe it's due to me being a bit over confident bout the subject. well....have to force myself to switch to study mode and memorise like mad! the subject's quite dead...so the stuff tats gonna come out are like all in the notes. and as our tutor had told us..."just study the tut...and you will pass." hope he will not let all 31 of us down. tis time, we've give it all to his words. gonna read through the notes later. stoning now...
- +A Little Light In The Darkness Of My Heart+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 6:47 PM
Monday, October 04, 2004
can't believe it. my doomsday is gonna be upon me in under 10 plus hours. and i'm like maybe only half prepared only...gonna do some last min cramping now...hope i can cramp the rite stuff in....sign...why does my paper have to be the first paper? 9AM...somebody pls...give me strength...
- +Doomsday+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 10:21 PM
being doing like nothing for the whole day. tried to study, but somehow everything i so called studied never did register in my mind.
hhmmmmm.....did not know tat my younger bro oso blog. but he told me anyways. looked through his blog....and wow...i did not know tat he's oso another one with problems. mental reminder....*spent more time with didi* dun ever give up my dear beloved brother. theres always hope in the air. well...if there is not, then 'm your hope. i'll never let you fall. cheer up k? wats yours will be yours in the end...
*yawn* better catch some sleep now. meeting the gang early in the morning to do the last min cramping everything in the brain shit. tue is my doomsday. man! really hope tat my luck is still holding out...hope to clear the two papers i'm having. after tat, it's home-free for me! good nite world....kiat signing off...
+Who Can I Turn To For Strength?+
+Wat Can I do To Gain Some Strength To Go Through Tis Phase?+
- +Strength+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 2:52 AM
someone once told me tis story....
once, there was tis person who's walking along the streets. just walking..taking time off jus to soak in the sights and sounds and everything. suddenly it begins to rain...the person just carry on walking. still walking ever so slowly...still looking at the world and enjoying it's moments. the rain got bigger...and bigger...till it came down in torrents. people around tis person started running. running for shelter. looking for a place to hide from the big rain. but then, tis single individual just carried on walking. still taking small steps and still enjoying the sights. except now, the sights are like a blur to him. cause of the heavy rain tats pouring down from the skies. the person walked down the street, with a sorta "nope. the rain's only a small deal to me" look on the face. while people around him are all either dashing like mad to get to a shelter or just to get in front. finally, another person(person B, in hope of finding shelter) ran past the first person(person A). person B stopped running and asked person A, "ain't u running to find shelter? the rain is really pouring down like crazy!" to which person A told person B..."why should i? i'm already wet. and the road ahead is straight. i oso will get wet. so why run? in the end i'll still get wet. why not enjoy tis moment even knowing you'll get wet in the end?"
kinda makes me wonder after hearing tis story. life's way too short to really enjoy yourself. why not take time out and enjoy yourself? since you know tat the road ahead is raining, since you're already wet, and oso by the time when you reach the place you wanna go, u're still be wet. why run? who knows? you might slip and fall in the rain if you run.
- +Rain+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 2:34 AM
I am 66% evil.
I'm getting there. I haven't done all the damage I could do but I've done quite a bit. I'm just over the border into the Evil Zone.
Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com
- 66% EVIL...Lacking the 600% more...666...
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 1:35 AM
Saturday, October 02, 2004
here i'm...sitted alone.
lost in my own world of thoughts,
with nothing to think of,
and yet so much to think bout.
are we meant to go through tis kinda cycle?
are we meant to fall again and again?
so many questions to ask and think bout,
and yet, not enough space to contain them all in.
wat's life suppose to be?
a time of feelings?
a time of hate?
or just a time of passing?
somehow, i dun know anymore.
or issit tat i dun wanna know?
for me now, time is just a factor of the human process.
a thing tat goes tick tick every sec, every min.
wat have time done to me?
or rather, wat have i done to time?
everything is a blur to me now.
somehow, something is blocking my view now.
i wanted very much to see clearly again,
but i guess it's really hard.
it's really hard for me to see clearly again.
issit tat i can't take the veil off me?
tat i can't find the strength?
or issit tat i am too tired to take it off?
who do i seek for the ans?
who can i ask for the ans?
i dun know. i really dun know anymore.
it's my own fault for letting myself fall to tis state.
do not to others wat others do to you.
how true tat is.
i can only blame myself.
- +Lost+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 7:08 PM
Friday, October 01, 2004
tried to study today. but nothing went in. pissed off at myself for allowing tis kinda feeling to sink into me. it's my final sem. and i'm doing all tis crap to myself. somehow...it'll take more then will power to pass tis sem for me. fuck it! i'm feeling pissed at myself, at the world, at everything. i'm gonna dance the nite away at chinablack...
+I Wanna Dance With You...+
-
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 7:55 PM
exams are just round the bent....dun know why i still dun have to heart to study. opening books seems so heavy to me now. can't even find the strength to turn the page. wats happening to me? it's the final jump for me. why can't i take it? somehow or rather, i feel so sick. sick of all the things tats happening around me. i long to find so comfort...but who can i find my comfort in? can i find it in you? i dun know. theres being a lot of i dun know lately in my life...i just hated tis kinda feeling...where i have no control in them. why? ain't feelings supposed to be controlled by prople themselves? then why can't i control them?
+someone up there must have really hated me so much...+
- +The Thing Bout Exams+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:26 AM
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