+Even angels fall...+

2005-06-14T11:58:00.000+08:00

hey peps, guys and gals, tis site is getting way too gloomy. i've decided to shift house and move to a new place. the address is below. thanks once again guys!

http://absolut-bullshit.blogspot.com/

+Bangkok, Here i come!+

2005-04-01T09:05:00.000+08:00

here again, at the airport. going to bangkok once again. till i come back folks! tata!!! :P

+Rain, rain, rain...+

2005-03-31T16:09:00.000+08:00

It's been raining these past few days. Burrrrrr!!!!!!! NICE!! It's a nice break away from the usual hot and sunny weather in Singapore. YUP! Time to have a nice hot cup of hot chocolate. Time to be covered up in blankets, time to snuggle up together with your loved ones in bed, hugging each other while braving the cold, whispering sweet nothings into each others' ears, smiling at each others' stupid jokes, funny faces. Yup....tat's wat rainy days are all about. :)

Another point though, rainy days set your mind into thinking mode. Or at least tat's wat mine does. Kinda clears your mind up, flushes out all the thoughts, filter them and made my mind and me see them in another different way. Or rather, a cycle of change for the creative juices. Watching the rain also calms a person down. Though the thunder and lighting can be disturbing, but studies have shown and proven tat, by watching rain fall and listening to the sound of raindrops, a person's mind and mood can become calm and relaxed after some time. Rain actually helps to ease tension in everyday stress. WOW! Wat won't some people give for overdoses of rainy days! :P

I like rain. It's kinda nice. Cold, calm, soothing, wet, sound of the rain falling to the ground is a sort of music, the smell of it, unique. Rain is nice. Rain is fun.

I love rain. But, minus the part where i have to get my feet wet. :P

"Rearranged" Wednesday

2005-03-15T15:06:00.001+08:00

Good way to begin a new month
by just simply thinking and missing,
from today you are gonna be my priority
after realizing how much you make me happy

//
sitting down on a bench outside library,
i stare into the space and find myself thinking about you.
i am not thinking anything specifically.
just about you in a general sense - your likes, your dislikes,
what you might think about.
that kind of thing.

it's becoming something of a habit for me.
i think about you when i wake up.
i think about you before i go to sleep
and i think about you in all the time between.
it has occurred to me that it isnt the best idea in the world to be thinking about someone who is beyond your reach.

then i reason that the heart wants what the heart wants.
in the end, i decide that the best way to stop thinking about you is to distract myself by.... ....
a lust? a crush? a love?
let's just skip all those and just say i have fallen for you so please take my hand,
pick me up and hold me close in your arms and say those magic words to me.

+From Off A Condom Vending Machine+

2005-03-15T14:29:00.000+08:00

Single. Pick up line. First date. Fling. One night stand. Rendezvous. Marriage. Matrimony. Affair. Male. Female. Fantasy. Tickle. Tease. Foreplay. Frolick. Turn on. Hair. Smell. Lips. Bums. Buttocks. Feet. Sex. Corpulate. Consummate. Make love. Daily. Once a week. Once a month. Kissing. Touch. Bed. Tantra. Massage. Pleasure. Sensational. Stroke. Orgasm. Semen. Catch. Contract. Disease. Itch. Rot. Birth. Conception. Abort. Hurt. Quarrel. Hit. Fight. Divorce. Love. Hate. Gay. Straight. Whatever it is. Do it safe. aphrnmdisiac.

+Seeking, looking, found+

2005-03-09T15:26:00.001+08:00

Once you have found something that you're looking for, hold on to it and never let go. Cause it might be just the last thing you ever find. I know. Cause I've found mine. :)

+Love? Love...+

2005-03-04T13:34:00.000+08:00

A great philosopher once asked, "what is love, anyway?" His name was Howard Jones, and a wise man was he.

I've been in a few relationships. I've felt the full range of emotions from joy, exhilaration and ecstasy to rage, frustration and incredible sadness. I've kissed and made up, and I've worked the cruel dumpster. I've bent over backwards, and I've demanded unfair mileage. I've pleased. I've exasperated. I've loved. And I still don't know jack about it.

Over the last year, a few of my darling friends have endured the breakdown of their long-running relationships. They have, at turns, cried on my shoulder (and into their cocktails), spewed venomous anger from every pore, sought cathartic release in their blogs, and have, in general, nudged my monthly phone above the $200 line. One of them thinks love is forever, another believes love is manipulative, and the other can't see the point in it anymore - at least for now. No one has a clue.

But while we haven't found any solid answers at any of our archaeological digs at love, we have learn lessons with experience and unfortunately, age. Here's what I've found:

- There's no guarantee in "forever". People change, situations change and most importantly, context changes.

- Love will keep us alive, Love will keep us together, Love is all we need - it's all total bullshit. Relationships take time, effort, and sometimes, medication. Love is just the starting point - wait till you roll the dice.

- Sometimes we love the relationship more than we love each other.

- It's a dangerous thing to be lonely. (Yup. It'll just turn you into a freak and yah...LONELY person in both heart and mind.)

- It's not enough to love somebody - you have to like them too.

- We love because we can, because we want to, because we do. Sometimes it enriches us, sometimes it damages us. Sometimes it's da bomb, sometimes it's a bitch. Point is, love is like life - it happens, so buckle up and strap your kneepads on. Trying to define it only distracts you from the view.

As for me, I just have been wasting my time for the past year, taking pity on others, and thinking that "pity love" can be actual love. Man! Was I ever more wrong! Last year was one of the hardest year to past, both in heart and mind. It's was like a torture both mentally and physically. After that, I learned my lesson. Love can never be used for pity.

Using your heart to love someone is the most basic but yet the hardest thing to do. But I'm proud to say that this time round, I've done it. And we're happy for each other that we can still use our heart to love each other in this complicated times.

Another great philosopher said it best: "Love is love, there's nothing you can do." - Boy George

+The First Time+

2005-03-02T13:50:00.001+08:00

the first time i spoke to you
you smiled
the first time i spoke to you
with my words
if people like me just spoke to you, you would think we're annoying
i have such anixiety, but i have courage to speak out
i'm not able to speak too well, so i tell you something awkward
you listened to me without ignoring me
that made me really happy
but you don't think anything of me
that's sad
but...
the first time i spoke to you
you smiled
the first time i spoke to you
with my words
the first time i spoke to you
you smiled
the first time i spoke to you
with my words
the first time i spoke to you

+Kill me Slowly+

2005-02-28T22:16:00.000+08:00

Ok...I'm starting to suffer from the so called "side-effects" of trying to quit smoking.

1) starting to get cranky.
2) starting to space out.
3) starting to get cranky.
4) starting to find food tasteless.
5) starting to get cranky.
5) starting to feel tired easily.
6) did I tell u guys tat I'm starting to get cranky?

Man! I can't stop. I gotta quit! I wan my end of the year Japan trip!

+To Quit Or Not To Quit+

2005-02-26T16:22:00.000+08:00

Man....I like totally loss it last nite over majong session. Cause I'm like trying to quit smoking. Yup.... The price of ciggies has gone up again. And tis time round, it's gone up by like another dollar or a dollar and a half. Man! This stuff is getting way too "high class" for me! It's like over the 1 year, if I was to like quit, the amount tat I can save up would be something like tis...

1 day of Marlboro = $11.50

1 month's worth of Marlboro(only take in 30 days) = $345

1 year worth of Marlboro = $4140

WOW! Tat means I can go on a holiday to either Thailand or Hong Kong on a average of 2-3 months of I can go to Japan end of the year! I can't really believe it! Tat I'm wasting all tis money buying stuff tat end up in ashes and smoke by the end of the day.

BUT....There's always a but. In exchange for he amount of money tat I can save up, I'll get all short tempered and short fused and having mood swings again. Man.....There's always a trade-off in everything.

I really wanna quit smoking. There's always more good then harm in quitting smoking. So I guess I'll rather be cranky for a while then be broke. At least the crankiness is just gonna last for only a while. :P KIAT! WAKE UP! U CAN HEAD OVER TO JAPAN EVERY YEAR IF U QUIT MAN! Yah...........That's a good motivation for starters... :)

and oso by the way, the price of ciggies are like gonna increase again by April. According to some reliable info. Tat sucks big time. But then again, giving me another reason to quit.

I guess I'll try out tis way of mind. I'll put up one saving "thingy" for tis quit smoking project. Let's see.....everytime tat I wanna buy ciggies, I'll just throw tat money into the saving can or wat ever, and take back the change of whatever there should be. Then after two weeks, I'll just peek inside the saving thing and see how much I can be able to save. :) hee! Tat should be a good idea. I should see if I'll able to shock myself into quitting smoking or not! :P

and thus, the quit smoking project starts now....Wish me luck people! Man! Am I ever gonna need all the luck I can get! :)

+WHERE??? I"M GOING CRAZY THINKING BOUT IT!!!+

2005-02-23T04:32:00.000+08:00

Ok...Guys....Any feedback from you ppl would be nice.

Hong Kong or Taiwan?

Tis question has been on my mind for this past week. And I'm gonna go crazy over tis topic soon!

Taiwan has more things to buy, but Hong Kong is cheaper.

Argh!!!! Decisions decisions! Choices choices! They're always so hard to make. And the best part is tat I'm up blogging tis cause I can't get to sleep cause of tis stupid thing. :(

I'll try to knock myself out now. Nites ppl.....

Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan??

+Banyan Tree Bintan+

2005-02-23T00:54:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! I'm back from Banyan Tree Bintan! :P yup yup.....I can hear a lot of ppl swearing in the background already! BANYAN TREE!!! Hee! Envy or not guys? Especially my three sayangs rite??? I already had one complaining to me tis morning already! hahaha!

Yup.....Really enjoyed myself over there! Brought my baby over there as her V-day present. Over-pampering her some might say? Nay! It's only rite tat I pamper her. After all, my baby loves me so much! hee! Yah....There we were, at bintan, with no worries, nothing to think bout, no one to face, just me and my baby enjoying the view, the sea breeze, the waves, the sun and us. :P

And man! Do the stuff at Banyan Tree really pamper us! They treat everyone like royalty over there! All smiles are heart warming and from the heart. No holding back on anything and they never look down on anyone. Yup...They're tat good! I'll really give them two thumbs up man!!!

Wat more can I say.....The view over there is way cool....The service is top notch. I really cannot think of anything more to say bout tat place. Good? tats way under rating it already.

All I can say is tat, yah...I sure had fun with my baby. And we enjoyed each others' company. *wink* *wink* :P

So folks, I can't think of anything more to say bout the trip already. Something are more easy to remember them and think bout them in my heart rather then typing it out. Well....I'll just say tat, some things in life, are meant to be kept in the heart and mind, only to be enjoyed by oneself only. :) So u guys can look at the pics and enjoy them. :P that's the best I can offer!!! hahaha!

Kiat, the sun burned one, is now gonna hug his baby tats already sleeping on the bed. nites ppl!

2005-02-22T17:51:00.000+08:00

I deem tis pix as one of my most fav! just lazing around and over looking the south china sea. Man! The life most ppl crave for...

2005-02-22T17:45:00.000+08:00

Beach, sand, waves and love...wat can be more perfect? :)

2005-02-22T17:43:00.000+08:00

View Of The Beach Pool, Banyan Tree.

2005-02-22T17:39:00.000+08:00

THE WAVES! CHECK OUT THE CLEAR CLEAR WAVES AND CLEAN CLEAN BEACH! MAN!!! I LOVED IT! :P

2005-02-22T17:36:00.000+08:00

Check out the pool!!! One side is cropped off so the water is flowing over the pool! Coolz......

2005-02-22T17:34:00.000+08:00

k...minus off the outfit, I'm really enjoying myself. It's a last min trip! I dun have time to pack!

2005-02-22T17:31:00.000+08:00

Nice? Nope, i did not edit, it's a combo of the morning sun and mist.... Tis ppl..., is my Villa. :)

2005-02-22T17:30:00.000+08:00

WOW! U'll not get tis kinda view in Singapore man!

2005-02-22T17:29:00.000+08:00

Geting more and more beautiful... :)

2005-02-22T17:26:00.000+08:00

1st sunrise in Bintan. Man! It's really beautiful.

2005-02-22T17:23:00.000+08:00

Yup...U guys guessed it rite...MY VERY OWN OUTDOOR JACUZZI in my villa! HEE! It can only be Banyan Tree. :P

2005-02-22T17:20:00.000+08:00

My bed... :P Man! I'm over-pampered! :P

2005-02-22T17:18:00.000+08:00

The view of the sea from my villa's door

+Made In Bangkok+

2005-02-15T12:30:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah. I've gotten so busy tat I've forgotten to post pics of my latest piercing in bangkok. It's all busy busy busy since I've gotten back. Wait, or was it just plain lazy me? :P anyways....below are the pics. Surprisingly, tis time round, the finger stud was not as painful as the last one tat i had it done on the web of my last finger. And it heals up pretty well, i would say. It's been like wat? 3 weeks? And it still shows no sign of rejection. Still a bit swelling though, but it'll clear up with proper care.

One thing bout the piercing tats done in bangkok, it's fast, good, clean and hassle-free! Ya! really! Everything is done under 5 mins. 10 mins max for harder to reach spots. From opening the neddle pack, to cleaning the neddle and studs, to poking thru your skin and finally, fixing the stud, all in under 5 mins! Even my finger stud was oso done in under 5 mins. They're fast, really really fast. Can be compared factory machines! :P Come, poke, go, NEXT! Come, poke, go! And the cycle continues. :P And the piercing tats done over there in bangkok, they heals up fast and well. No joke man! my both tragus gave me no problem, my tongue stud is still there, and i'm not dead yet! :P My finger stud is doing well now. The only thing tat went wrong was my last finger's webbing piercing. Tat was in a way my fault cause i choose a shorter stud. But, all in all, everything tat has being pierced over there turns out very healthy. :)

One thing bout our own singapore piercing "experts" is tat i dun trust them at all. After 2 piercing tat i had them done in singapore, i did not like them tat much. Why? Cause they keep giving me problems. And to think tat singapore's piercers are like labeled as one of the most pro's. My Ass man! Not worth the money, not worth the time. The thing bout singapore piercers is tat they dun dare to try new places. They're forever tongue, navel and all the other common parts of the body. How can we go on without progress?

So my views on them...

Singapore piercers = old fashion uncles/aunties.

After so many piercings and which i've taken out some of them, there is like no where else to poke anymore. Maybe one more industrial and tats it for me. Or if i strike to-to or 4D, maybe i'll go for the tongue-split thingy. rite now only Mount E do it and they charge like a whopping $900 for a two time process. Tat should be an interesting thought. :P hee!But there is always one thing tat i would like to try...or rather 2 things. After playing with piercing for so long already, the idea of branding and body insertation has really made a lasting impression on me. But tat would take careful research and planning to carry out. I'll do some research on it and i'll keep you guys posted ya? Tat should be an interesting way of body deco. Takes it to new heights ya? Hahahaha! :P

2005-02-15T12:23:00.000+08:00

makes a new meaning to the ever popular term "fuck you" rite? hahaha! :P

2005-02-15T12:18:00.000+08:00

my latest "poking thru the skin!" :P

+A bit of history+

2005-02-15T10:54:00.000+08:00

Since everyone of us is still having some hangover from the feeling of loved or being loved last nite, and tat ppl are still on the topic of valentine's day, let's take a quick look at history...

The History of Valentine's Day

Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial -- which probably occurred around 270 A.D -- others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.

To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.

The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.

In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.

According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia.

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap".

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY PEOPLE!!!

+V-Day+

2005-02-15T01:08:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's day ppl! It's gonna be a short post for now cause i'm very happy and my head is way over the clouds! So i can't think of anything to blog! So a short note! May everyone stay happy always! No matter if it's a couple or singlehood. Love is in the air! And it's not just today only ya?! Stay lovely ppl! Kiat out for now. Will tell you guys more bout wat happen later ya?!

*Kiat walks away...floating in the air, head over the clouds! :P*

+As U gets older, the CNY gets more boring...+

2005-02-09T16:30:00.000+08:00

Point to debate on...do u guys agree tat when u get older, somehow, the CNY mood is lost? It's like when we were young, things are sao much simple. Wake up, greet mum and dad happy chinese new year, snack on chinese new year goodies, get "Ang Baos", dress nice nice to go out and do CNY visiting, eat more chinese new year goodies, get more "Ang baos", play with all your relatives, still forcing down all those chinese new year goodies, try to act grown up by gambling, (Ya....we do tat when we were young! Remember those 10 cents, 20 cents blackjack? :P) still eat some more chinese new year goodies, gather with all the uncles and aunts, it's so happy back then for us.

And yet now, it's like only 4 plus in the afternoon and i'm back home. Not tat i mind, I've grown up over the "Ang baos" thingy. It's like, the unity is not there anymore. Everyone has got their own life now. Some has got to get to their girlfriends/boyfriends home to visit their parents, some just dun wanna go tis house cause of some unhappy stuff over some time back, some just choose to stay at home and not go out at all. I mean, wats tis man? IT'S CHINESE NEW YEAR. It's our time. Our so called "birth rights thing". And from the way we're treating it, it seems like we're throwing away chinese new year. Who knows? Maybe 10 years down the road, chinese new year will be like just a normal public holiday to all of us, perhaps something like labour day of vesak day. Woooooo......man! Tats really scary...

It's not tat i'm complaining or anything, I just felt a sense of loss. Back then, things were so much happier, much more simple. Well, i guess tat i can only look back and smile upon it and tell myself tat yup, i had tat really nice chinese new year feeling back then and ya...it's good. I had it before.

Well...better stop here ofr the time being. My baby's coming over to visit my parents. And they're expecting her anytime. And well...one thing comforting though, my parents really like my baby. Why, cause they're asking me bout her on if she's coming over to visit them. Yes baby...u'll read tis post sooner or later...they're your parents now...not mine! u've managed to won them over to your side! :P Muacks!

Tis CNY is not so bad after all...

+A new year, a new start+

2005-02-09T07:10:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR GUYS AND GALS!

It's the start of a brand new year once more! May everything turns out well and fine for all of us and may things go smoothly our way! It's gonna be a good year for me! Yup! I can really sense it! All the bad things are gone out of my life and i can have a brand new start to my own life and not having to worry or be there for anyone except for my baby and spancer. Some ppl are just not worth it. When the end of the day comes, they just think of themselves. No point doing so much for them in the beginning. No point in dragging and fighting all the time. Some things are just not worth it.

Please...look for your pity elsewhere.

Tis is it. A new year, A new start. No more will i have anything to do with the past and no more will i look back at the past. I've wasted my life for bout 1 year plus after esther for nothing at all. Just some pity tat i thought i can change it into love, which in the end, i can't. And i'm not gonna do tat anymore. Ever since i've found my baby, things are starting to look brighter and we're happier as each day goes by. Wat we want now for us is just a simple life, and through the both of us, we've found tat simple life tat we have been looking for all this while. Sure, it took us a long while and a long time to find each other. But wat matters in the end is tat, we've finally found each other. And tat is wat it all matters bout. I'm glad. Finally i can live my life for myself and for the one tat i truly love who loves me back as much as i do in return.

Thank you my baby. I love you...muacks! Happy chinese new year!!!

+Mood...Over The Moon!+

2005-02-08T04:39:00.000+08:00

Been a few days since I last blogged. Been busy with packing my room. Man! I did not know tat there's like soooooooo much stuff to pack and throw away! And it's all coming from my room! Can u guys try to picture tat? And it's like only one room only!!! And the funny and ironic thing is tat, after all the packing, the freaking still looks the same to me! *Pangz!* But! There's always a but, at least the room looks neater and more fit for a human to live in!

Baby and me managed to throw away like 10-12 bags worth of junks! Wow! Tat much rubbish man! Ranging from like bills collected from 1 plus year back to pay slips, from "some stuff tat are meant to throw away last year" when it all ended to empty lighters! Ya....No more gas left in them already. Still dun know why I kept those. Lots of papers though. Notes leftover from copying them from frens and classmates, my old textbooks and notes. Tons and tons of postcards, all my posters from GV. Ya.....somethings after-all, are better off left kept in the heart rather then in items. Only kept one and one single poster. It's "The Day After Tomorrow", cause tat poster is rather a special one. And my "Spiderman 2" poster stand, which I took much pain and effort to take them apart. Those are for my walls! Just nice, 3 big posters that can cover my whole wall! Special rite!?

Now, my room really looks like there's more space to move around! A very big thanks to you baby, for taking the time to help me pack my room and listening to me whine while I'm a bit pissed of with packing the room. And thanks for throwing out a lot of crap tat I had, cause knowing me, I'll keep everything and not throw them away and in the end, the room will still end up even more messy then wat I started out with.

Even though my room is still not really done with packing yet, I've gotta admit, it's really a big difference from wat it started out to be. Hey! I spend 2 freaking days at it k!! It's more then enough for me! As for the rest of the stuff, they have gotta wait till after new year. I'm way too shagged out, both in mind and body to carry on packing. Sorry mom! That's the best I can offer you at tis moment of time! I'm sure you're quite happy as well rite? So just give and take k? :P

Yeah...We went for dinner cum supper after tat. Both of us are quite drained out already. Well, I'll not say much on wat happened, cause somethings are meant to savor in the heart. Baby met up with her 1st love for supper cause he just came back from the states, I went along and the meeting was quiet good. Well...wat can I say? Nothing much was exchanged between us during the meeting, but tonite's meeting really seals up one thing. Tat my baby is ready to move on with me. And tat wat we have between us is pure and true love. Tats all...Just simple love for each other. And ya....tats more then enough for me. Cause simple things are often the hardest things to grasp in your hand.

It's not tat i need assurance or anything like tat. And also, i have never see myself as a replacement for her 1st boyfriend or anything like that. I just love tis silly gal of mine for god knows watever reason. Funny way of loving rite? well...to me, it works in tis way...when i dun know why i love a person, i'll carry on loving her till i find out the reason. And when i find out the reason for loving her, I'll work harder towards tat reason so that i can love her more. With tis, it's a win-win thing! :P wahahahaha! clever rite? :P

All i ever wanted was a simple life with the one tat i love. With esther, we nearly hit towards tat level. But in a way, too bad we did not work out. But at least, she found someone tat really loves her back as much as sge loves him. Tats good for her. I'm truly happy for esther. With meiting, we're nowhere near tat level. Cause it was never meant to be in the first place. And also, we're trying way too hard for the wrong reason. With my baby, we dun even have to try. Somehow, the feeling just flowed into us, and we just let it flowed into each other. We did not even try anything at all. Everything just happened on its own. Tis is the simple life tat both of us are after. Yup...and we've found tat simple thing and simple life in each other. :)

:) I just love it when my baby looks at me, into my eyes. The feeling of being loved is so nice and warm. Yup...her face is the face tat i wanna spend the rest of my life with. Tat face is the first thing tat i would love to see first thing in the morning when i wake up, and the last to see when i fall asleep. It's truly magical tat we've found each other. Hee! Given tat the first time tat she sees me, her impression of me to her is not a good one at all. But baby, even though the time we are together is short, but the feeling tat we have is really something very strong, tat nothing could break. Yup yup...tats my baby and our simple life for you guys!

I feel so blissed...................

+Sleepless???+

2005-02-04T03:34:00.001+08:00

HI. MY NAME IS KIAT AND I'M AN INSOMNIAC.

As far back as i can remember, I've had problems sleeping. In fact, I was told tat as a baby, I rarely ever took afternoon naps like most regular babies would. Whenever the time came for a midday siesta, I would have none of it. Instead, i would either be crying for attention, playing with my feet, or i'd be sipping a double espresso at the nearest starbucks. So you see, even as a baby, I rarely got any sleep.

I read somewhere that a few years back that there once was an indian lad who only required about five hours of sleep every week. Because of all the spare time he had on his hands (and presumably also it wasn't cricket season in india), by the time tis young man was 18, he had already earned his PhD. possibly in Astronomy.

Anyway, my point is this-even though i, too, suffer from a similar sleeping disorder, by the time i turned 18, all i had to show for it were a couple of eye bags.

And i should've seen it coming too, when many years ago, i chanced upon a horoscope reading of mine that suggested a couple of career options that would best suit my temperament. they were, namely-bouncer, vampire, owl or jaga.

Unfortunately, i picked noneof the above career paths. instead, i choose to hold down a job that requires me to be in the office circa 9am every morning. this same office also frowns upon employees who fall asleep at their desks at 4pm. Nazis.

So my inability to sleep at night-exacerbated by the fact that at 4am, The Planet's Funniest Animals is just about as funny as Wheel Of Fortune at 4.30am-turned out to be a major kink in my adult working life.

And i've tried just about everything under the midnight moon to help me get some sleep. such as aromatherapy-ie filling my bedroom with the gentle perfume of lavender, which is supposeto contain calming properties. And i'll admit that lavender does somehow soothe my senses, permeating my entire being with an air of tranquillity that's very conducive to slumber. If only i could get past my incessant fear that the tealight will somehow torch my flat, and myself with it, in the middle of the night.

I've tried ingesting cough mixture, the kind that cause drowsiness, in potently dangerous quantities. (note: the writer is a trained moron and readers are strongly advised not to try this at home.) i still didn't manage to get any sleep, but i think my larynx did, because i didn't cough at all for months afterwards.

I've also tried the popular sleeping aid, Valium, and it was good for about a week before my body got smart to it and started building an immunity-perhaps with a little help from mr cough mixture-against the sedative.

The muscle relaxants came after tat. they lull your body into a dreamy stateof being, but they dun do the same for the brain. which is just hell because i'm lying here, fully aware that i'm watching a particularly bad episode of The Planet's Funniest Animals, and i am immobile, completely powerless to reach for the remote.

The final straw for me was to count sheep,which is the stupidest idea i've ever heard of, probably conceived by the shepherd boy who didn't have any friends because he cried wolf one times too many and was thus bored out of his lying wits. The sheep-counting method didn't work for me because by the time, i reslised three things-

(1) my maths isn't very good,
(2) there are nver any sheep on The Planet's Funniest Animals because sheep can't really ham it up, and
(3) i think i can't sleep beacuse i'm hungry for some soup kambling.

+A silent minute for the people who suffered...+

2005-02-03T14:01:00.000+08:00

Was looking through some blog skins just now and chance upon tis one. Dun know why, Dun know how, i just kept staring at it for a long long time. Suddenly, the 9-11 incident, the bali bombing, the tsunamis all came rushing into my head. the death count, the sorrow, the pain, i wonder how could one ever go through tat kinda hurt and pain. the strength tat they have must be straining for them to draw out. To be able to draw out tis kinda strength needs a certain amount of courage. And from where do these ppl draw their courage from? Tat is one thing i would really love to know. To know and to learn.

A moment of silent, for the lives that were taken, for people that were affected.

+life goes on+

2005-02-03T04:01:00.000+08:00

Had a chat with esther just now. She's getting engaged! Wow! Happy for her man! Yup....the happiness truly comes from the heart. At least she found someone tat she can love deeply and tat person loves her back in return. Had an interesting chat with her though,

Esther : "So how are you coping now? Your voice is really very different from the last time we chatted"

Me : "Getting better. Same as you, i've also found someone tat i can really love her for who she is."

Esther : "Tats good. I'm really happy for you. And i know tat the gal must be better then me. The things tat u told me tat u did for her, U never do for me before u know. Hee!"

Me : "Ok lah! Dun say till like tat can? Hahaha! U got your own darling now wat! He also do the things tat i never do before."

Esther : "So meiting is really the past already ar? She's not worth it lah. Too young for you. And her thinking is also very young. She seeks attention. U know tat. And knowing u, u'll give in all the time till the time comes where u'll just burst."

Me : "Ya....i know. She's the past already. I should have listen to all you and the ppl from GV and should have never got involved with her. But everything's ok now. I really found someone tat i can love. I'm happy. Like i told u before, simple things are often the hardest things to grasp in your hands.

Esther : "Ya lah! And I still cannot believe tat u can take her excuse of she been blur blur lead into bed by her ex while she is with you. U have made a laughing fool and yet u can still take it laying down. Come on kiat....it takes two hands to clap. True, u have being unfaithful yo her, but did u do anything? Ya...u and the other gal just kissed, but meiting went to bed with her ex! Who's the true unfaithful one? Who's the slut? You have been taken for a fool! You have been taken for a ride silly boy! And yet u choose to believe her?! I got nothing to say man!

It was at tis point of time, where i really did think back. Was i really been taken as a fool? Was i been taken for a ride? never did anyone see the 2 of us getting anywhere. jason, my ex C.E from GV told me tat she's not the one, i'm only taking her as a rebounce for esther. tat i can't stand to be lonely now. Alvin also told me tat as well. in fact, the whole of GV tells me tat, including my own brother. but na, i was headstrong. i thought i could love her for who she is, not for wat i wanna see her to be. Ginger oso told me before tat i'm stupid in tat i believe her story. everything takes 2 hands to clap, she told me. how can a person force her to do something she dun wan? Ya....true...it does takes both hands to clap. If she is unwilling, jon would not have bedded her tat nite. And i still happily accept her reason tat she was confused and did not know wat to do. hahaha! looking back, was i stupid? or was i blinded? if a person dun wanna be fucked, there's nothing the other party can do, expect to rape her then. ya....i'm the one tats unfaithful in the 1st place. but then again, fucking another guy while u're in a relationship? na.....tat should not be the way. and worse of all, singapore is not small. and NTU is oso not small. within like 3 weeks, rumors did fly into zouk during a bash stating tat tis gal from tampines GV is no problem to be picked up at all, to bring home and fuck. and i still try to cover for her, believing in wat she has told me. but hey, tat was my choice back then. i'll accept it. from tis i know, do wat not to others, unless u wan others do to you. i guess in a way, she paid a price for her "wonderful" nite of non stop sex (tat was wat she told me in the bus on the way to tampines) back in NTU, was tat she became a "well-known picked-up gal" in NTU for a while (those are the word for word phase tat i heard). tats kinda sad for her. i feel sorry for her, indeed i do. as much as i tried to shut the whole thing up, still some news managed to leak out. oh yeah, another thing bout uni ppl, they can't seems to be able to keep their mouths shut. everything just flies out of their mouths. so ppl....next time u chanced upon a uni person, just be careful ya?

but then again, looking back, i can at least tell myself tat i did have no regrets. at least i tried to love her. tat i can be sure of myself. things just got out of hand for us to handle. wat everyone says is rite. we would really be better off as normal frens, rather then trying to start something by force. i felt trapped inside the whole thing. and i did not have the courage to let myself out. but now, everything becomes a clearer pix. i'm able to judge things better for myself and tat i know wat i wan and where am i going in my life.

i can see clearly now, the rain is gone. i can see all obstacles in my way... :)

+Changing Skins+

2005-02-02T16:28:00.000+08:00

Morning world! Wow! It's morning and I can't believe tat I'm actually up and not sleeping. Wat a feat! Guess my body is slowly adjusting itself back to the normal timing. Tats good. Guess it must be tat I'm not doing anything tat keeps me up late into the nite. Ya...it's time to cut down on a lot of things. Drinking, getting wasted, clubbing, partying, ya....all the so-called "sins"! Wahahah! Hhhhmmm......but wats life without all this sinful enjoyments? :P then life itself will be boring ya? Well....at least I can tell myself tat I, kiat, had once enjoyed all tis and oso, I've gone beyond the borders of all these "sins". So I guess now, it's the time (or should I say high time!) to hang up my dancing shoes, store away my drinking glass and put away my flirting eyes. :P

Since I found her, and oh yes, we did not expect each other to end up with each other in the 1st place, both me and her really did toned down a lot on our partying, drinking, clubbing and stuff like tat. Dun know why, but I just like to spent my time with her. The feeling now tat I'm having is like when I'm back to being 16, 17. Back to those secondary school days. So fairy-tale like. :P it may sounds kinda childish, but hey! I dun mind! And I dun care. I just feel really and truly happy with tis darling of mine. Yup...my silly baby... :)

I guess now tat I've found her, things on life are not tat bad after. Sure, u fall down in life once or twice, or perhaps at times, u fall down even more. But u have to get up after some time. True, in my case I fell down before, I got up thinking tat I've found something, but in the end it just turns out to be another false call, another empty shell, a shadow of someone tat i thought i can relate to, another person where i thought i can try to find the actual person in, but not. I just fell back down again. I just tat I'm not ready to climb up just yet at tat point of time. I was just deceived by myself and false feelings at tat time. I was, in a way, forced to climb up. But all tat failed me big time. Instead of climbing up, i sank in deeper, fell down harder.

Well....after looking at my blog, I was like thinking.....Hhhhmmm.....ya...sometimes angels do fall down. But it's only a matter of time before they pick themselves up. I have picked myself up already, and I'm ready to move on with life. Tis time round, I'm really sure of things. I'm a truly happy man! Hee!

Ya....it's oso time to change my blog's skin. The angel has found his pair of lost wings. He's ready to fly again. But tis time round, there will be another angel flying alongside him. The angel tat he has being searching for all this while. The angel tat has being missing from his life. And now tat he has found her, he'll tightly hold on to her, as she will to him and both of them will soar the skies freely with each other once again.

To the ever-blue skies tat we soar to seek together, where no dark clouds can ever reach us, where the only thing I can feel is the warmth of your embrace everywhere I turn...Baby, I found u...And I have to look no further anymore.

+hello world!+

2005-01-31T17:40:00.000+08:00

HELLO WORLD! I'm back! Back to the world of Internet! Back to the world of leaches! Back to the world of blogging! Back to the world of having info at your fingertips! Back to the world of hacking! Back to the world of mp3s! Back to the world of free downloads! Back to the world of porn! Ya! I'm back! Back till the next time my comp goes "crashed" on me again....

Wat a month without Internet. At first, I really thought tat I'll really like die without hearing the sound of typing on my keyboard. Tat I'll suffer from serious withdrawal from the net. But hey! I'm still alive! And not in some rehab center meant for Internet junkies. Wow! Won't tat be the day ya guys?

Man! I'm like being missing for so long tat I've lost touch of blogging...it seems so weird now, to hear my thoughts being typed out onto the screen. And I seem to have like lost all my phasing and words and stuff....man! Wat a way to start off my blog.... :P

But then again, thinking back, tis past month without Internet, I feel like I'm reborn in a way....tat I can actually carry on living in a world without Internet. :P lame rite guys! ? :P but yeah...to be cut off from the internet oso teaches me some stuff at the same time...to start off ya...I dun have to so called entertain ppl, dun have to face certain ppl, which is good....cause I can search for that freaking thing called "inner peace: which ya...is still a bit crap shit to moi...Well, I did lived in a world where there was 486 computers before, I lived in a world where there's no such thing called internet before. So why should I need them now? Perhaps ease of life I would say. Or maybe there's more to it then I can think of. Well then...I’ll ponder upon the issue and maybe just feedback you guys ya? :)

And another thing, if this past month is a dream, I'll still wish for it to be a dream and tat I'll never have to wake up again in tis hash and feeling less world. Yup...indeed such a nice and wonderful month it has been. Hee! Only a few words can sum up the past month..."God-sent" "Wow!" "Yummy!" Hhhhmmm...any more? Hahaha! I guess these 3 words are more then enough to sum everything up! *Wink* *wink!* u get wat I mean dun you? :)

Wat more can I say? I got wat I wanted. If ever there is a god. (It's god darling...it's either him or her. Not it. :P Tats why it rained remember?) And to Esther, sorry my dear if u chance upon tis someday, I've found someone better then u. I know tat u'll be happy for me. Cause tats wat u wan for me, but sorry to say tis, she's better then you. Hee! But nevertheless, a really big thank you to u Esther, for injecting patience and calm into me, for teaching me how to be a better man. For making me see tat there is still a rainbow somewhere out there for everyone. For making me know tat in the end, meiting is all but just a stepping-stone for you. And tat I've been deceiving myself time and time again for the whole of last year. Tats why I can't commit in any way, and tat every time I see her, I see you instead. Which I know tat u hated tat rite? Wahahah! Ya ya ya! I know tat u're much more slimmer then her! I'll give u tat! And tat I oso made a very big and serious mistake. Tat I lied to myself and told myself tat I loved her. Which is not true for me. The truth is tat all tis while, I'm taking her for you in my eyes. Every time I see meiting, there is no her, all there is was you. And ya...looking back at all the postings from last year, it was indeed a big laugh for me, now tat I look back upon it. It was all but a big spite here and there. I just let my anger gets the better of me. Man! Wat a way to pass year 2004! Wasted all tat u've said on me. But then again, thanks gal! Thanks for making see all that and more gal...I own u one! Or perhaps a lot more! :)

Anyways, I'm running quite now, so I'll stop here for tis evening and tat I'll continue with it at nite I guess. Gonna head to Chinatown to do some Chinese new year soaking in shopping! And to have Chinese food! Yummy!

Later guys and gals!

+fly away...+

2005-01-14T19:13:00.000+08:00

ok....here i'm...sitted on a chair at changi airport T1 waiting for my flight...i'm promise to blog ppl....it's just tat my comp is really down and tat i can't find a way to fix it just yet...so sas i was saying...here i am, sitted in a chair, watching ppl walked by, runned by, and just doing their own stuff. wat am i here? hmmm......i would say tat i just wanna get away....wanna to go to a place tat no body knows me....i wanna fly away.....somehow, F.I.R song, fly away, was playing over and over in my head....

well........till my return guys and gals.....have fun and take care...

+from a fren to me+

2005-01-05T16:46:00.000+08:00

jus a poem refered to by a fren feels tat it's quite...

People thinks that I m silly,
To hold on something not so worthy.
They even think it’s a pity,
That I wouldn't face the reality.
It’s the feeling that I’m seeking,
If I deny my true feelings,
Then its me myself tat i'm cheating.
Hence… I keep on waiting…
Its true he once hurt me deep,
But he too gave me the love I need..
So I won’t admit my defeat,
Stand up,n dance with the music to the beat.
Yet autumn after autumns, spring after springs,
Time passes, just in a wink…
He was mine, only in dreams,
The dreams were sweet,
like cookies n cream!!
One day he called,
“its just another chat” I thought,
He said, “I feel for you”,
THAT gave me a shock!!~
Was it April fool’s day?
I realized its not,
I felt as if I’d conquered the mountain top!
He asked if I was willing to wait.
Leaving the relationship to the fate.
He hopes by then its not too late,
To make up for his past mistakes….
Dear fate, play me out not,
I really love him lots n lots...
give us the chance to b together again,
its the only cure to my greatest pain...

+the coming of an end+

2004-12-27T21:14:00.000+08:00

the beginning of an end is the end of a beginning. the year is coming to an end. MERRY MERRY BELATED X'MAS TO ALL PPL AROUND! SORRY GUYS AND GALS...it's not i forgot to wish u guys merry x'mas. it's cause i'm way too gone to do so. being working at red room on x'mas eve and merry x'mas day. was totally gone these 2 days man! drinking and drinking away like there's no tomolo. everyone there was way too gone even too work on those 2 nites. and everynite we went back after the 1st break of sunlight....now is tat extreme or wat man!!! wahahaha!no one could walk in a straight line, everyone was puking, but all in all, everyone was happy. or least the major part of the ppl there were happy. me? it's just bout work, drinks, puke, and forgetting. at least i slpt like a log on sat. for the 1st time in so many weeks. i finally can sleep soundly. i can forget bout things for a while and sleep well...

in a way, it's good tat i got snakey. it really helps me to relax more and takes my mind off things. snakey helps to calm me down. somehow, i can't stand to be in places with a lot of people now. even zouk. i can go there, but in the end i'll just hide in one small place and be alone. i just wanna be away from ppl. it's like i'm building a kinda barrier around me. tats not so bad after all....given my temper now, i would rather ppl stay from me or i stay away from others. it's better for both sides. just me and myself and kiat and snakey. tats all it takes to complete my life now.

well.....the end of a beginning is the beginning of an end. tats all i can say tonite. i'm just a shelled up person after all.

+pain+

2004-12-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

had my ear poked again today. think it's the 8th hold tat i have on my ears. wat's with all the studs and pain you might ask? i dun know....i just enjoy the pain i guess. today's stud is located in quite an interesting place. the inner part of the ear. man! dun know how i'm gonna sleep later. :P and oso dun know how am i gonna listen to my ipod.

wats with the pain again? hmmm.....quite hard to say. some ppl say tat one turn to another pain in order to forget bout the old pain. i tend to agree. i thought i could put a stop to her when i put a stud thru the webbing of my finger. but tat came off. and we got back together. and now, yet again i put a stud thru my ear in order to remind me of the pain tat i went thru. funnn though, now i dun feel the pain of my ear, instead, the pain in my heart is still there. refusing to go away. how long more? how long more i wonder.

with tis stud in me, i have to keep reminding myself tat everything is all over. there is nothing more left to do. she's happy i know. i'm in pain, i dun care. nothing matters to me anymore.

enjoy the pics ppl...

good nite cruel world.

2004-12-21T23:15:00.000+08:00

check it out! it's inside the ear! :P

2004-12-21T00:42:00.000+08:00

my new little red shoe shoe!!! yummy!

2004-12-21T00:41:00.000+08:00

up close and personal! it's red! it's flashy! it's fast! it ain't superman! :P

+converse craze+

2004-12-21T00:37:00.000+08:00

whoo! just reach home from both work and shopping! yummy! brought my second pair of converse! :P and yes! i finally proud to say tat my first pair of converse tat was brought in thailand is in fact, one of a kind in singpore! yup yup! singapore does not sell it! wahaha! man! i'm proud and happy! woo hoo!!!!!!!!! the second pair tat i brought was a ALL STAR OX MS 9696 RED the regular pair of red low cut converse. they're on top. i loaded the pics first before blogging! wahaha! wanna share! :P opps....i think i'm having a convese craze now... :P well....they're easy to mix and match wat....so....bite me if u guys have any objections! wahahaha!

hmmmm.....now to the bad news....my skink is still in tat "half dead" state....my only choice is tat i hope it's shedding....tats why it refused to eat or drink....can only pray so man....tried to force fed it just now...only ate a bit...well....at least it's still moving when i hold it...

still miss my star turtles....have to check the next batch of turtles tat comes in....dun wan the trouble of having them to die on me again cause of over stress problems.

gonna start my new day tomolo wearing my new shoes! wahahaha! YA! my little red shoes! :) least tats sorta a break for me...least i'm feeling a bit happy today. took a bit of the pain off my mind.

oh yeah! before i log off, here are some pics of "nearly my latest pet". but too bad, my other fren wanted it so much i have to give it up. :(

ning for me again! working at 6 and after tat working at red room at 8. man! i can't keep tis up any longer....my body is gonna break down soon....i know it, i can sense it...but then again....working non stop can make me forget bout the pain for a while. rite now, no matter how short is the time, i just wanna forget my pain...

nites fucked up world...u sux...

2004-12-21T00:27:00.000+08:00

me and snakey...sharing my face...

2004-12-21T00:26:00.000+08:00

check out the eyes! the same top grey bottom brown...COOL....

2004-12-21T00:23:00.000+08:00

red tail boa...way cool man!

+pain+

2004-12-21T00:07:00.000+08:00

+loads of bad luck+

2004-12-20T01:16:00.000+08:00

man! wat a week. wat a load of bad luck!! thought i'm over the all the hurt and pain tat a person can cause me, but then upon seeing her again, everything got screwed up again! great. and if tat does not add up to my problems, my pets had to have problems. PURE BIG TIME FUCKED UP WEEK TAT I"M GOING THRU NOW. WAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG?? WAT ELSE?

first, it's the star turtles. they had to die off one by one. when feed backed to the shop, the owner finally own up tat tat batch of star turtles had problems. and all tat had brought from them died off one by one. ok....i can accept tat. they already had problems when they were shipped in. over stress....tats a major killer in animals.

second, now my blue tongued skink is like dying on me. no matter how i tried to feed it with it's fav food, it just would not eat. one side of it's legs is not moving and it tends to close it's eyes everytime. GREAT! wat's the fucking problem???? stupid spancer! ask me to take care of the skink tats having problems while he took the stable one tat i like. and now i'm worried bout the skink on my hand. and i can't bring it to see a vet. cause they're controlled animals. i can only pray and hope now....

wats the matter with my life now?!?! why is everything going downhill??? why is everything going wrong? fuck it! fuck the world! fuck everything!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! JUST PURE FUCK!

i wanna know...have you ever seen the rain...cause the rain always brings good news...

+why all tis now?+

2004-12-18T04:43:00.000+08:00

so now u think i'm treating u like a plaything in the past. well fine. thanks once again for another hurt. i can't feel a thing anymore. i still can't get over the hurt tat u injected into me on wed and before. how many times more must i still get hurt again by you and your words?

"i'm not tat into you." well fine. so i never find you while you were at grand. ARE YOU SURE? then wat happen when ever you're sick and i went over to find you before you left for work at grand and i went back to clock out for my sip? then why am i there when ever u cried? when u felt sad? why did i even bother to go make u happy? why did i care so much? so now it's one simple "he's just not tat into you" and everything will be better for you?

ok...you're the pretty one, you're the smart one. i'm nothing but just a fool. a fool tat gets hurt by you time and time again. and yet i'm still willing to get hurt by you again and again. how long more can i still continue to be tis fool? how much longer?

go be happy. hope you find the guy tat u really like. i give u my blessings. please be happy. i'm nothing just just a simple fool tats still in love with you, no matter wat u did or wat u do. it's pointless for me, i know. since you can turn away upon seeing me, i know u can find your happiness. go then. dun bother bout me anymore. u heard wat u wanted to hear from me, u turned your back to me as well. i'm sure u can do it tis time ting. so go...be happy. i'll be happy for you as well.

i'm all but just, a simple tats waiting for a hopeless love.

+is it better for you tis way?+

2004-12-16T15:12:00.000+08:00

yes. i did saw u last nite. i saw u when u wanted to walk across but stopped and u-turned back straight away when u saw me. i saw u down at the dance floor. i waited inside for quite some time after zouk ended. waited inside, give u time to go off so tat u will not have to see me, but yet i have to walk past you and in front of you when i walked out of zouk. i have to bear the pain of walking past u cause u looked away and refused to even look at me. i have to will my mind to just walk away from you even though i wanted so much to say hi, to smile at you, to be next to you.

it's better for you tis way rite? since u already dun wanna even know me, dun wanna even take me as someone u know. u wanted to see me as a stranger now. u can do tat. last nite u already did. since u can do it, i guess it's good for you rite? it hurts, it really does. when u just turn back and walk away. when u walk past me. when u dun know me at all.

since u can already move on, it's good for you. since u're already so strong, i'm happy for you. at least one get hurts is always better then 2. i feel the hurt and the pain. but somehow i can't feel it as well. a part of me died when u force me to tell u i dun love u anymore when i still do. last nite another part oso died as well. but does it matters anymore? i can't feel anything anymore. then why do i still care for you? why do i still see you as someone tat i love very much? despite everything u have "done" so far, i still love you. i still do. is it hard for you to just dun know me? or issit easy for you to do tat? i dun know. but it seems like u can do it. it's good for you to move on.

i dun mind the hurt or pain. anything i will do for you, in order to exchange for you being happy. in order to have you smiling again.

one person suffering is always better then 2 person suffering. for you ting, i'm always willing to do tat.

+A part of me just died...+

2004-12-13T01:15:00.000+08:00

tonite a part of me just died...

why force me to say tat i dun love you when in fact i still do? why? true, u have cause hurt to me tonite. true, u have made me say tat i dun love you anymore.

now i have know tat saying i dun love you anymore when i still do is really quite painful. why put me thru all tis hurt again? i still love you. why force me to tell you tat i dun anymore? does tat makes you feel more happy? so tats fair....fair for the hurt tat i've caused you over these few months...but issit fair when u choose to break it off when we're heading on the correct path? issit fair to force me to tell you tat i dun love you?

why did i wait for you to slp everynite? i dun know k! i just dun know! i wish i could slp soundly without having to worry tat u'll have nite mares. knowing tat u're sleeping safe and sound. i just dun know why i still care, why i still wait, why i still love you. can love be controlled? it can't ok. i still love you cause i'm sure of tat. but why do u have to hurt me in such a way? why do u have to do it tis way? tis is really the max u can go. can u go anymore further then tonite? i dun know how much i can take it anymore. i really dun.

i'm like a small soul trapped in your palm...waiting for you to finally crash me. but yet i'm still willing to be tat small little soul.

why am i putting myself thru tis pain? can u take away tis pain from me please? i really wish u can. i wish u could. please.....deliver me away from tis pain and tis world...

i still love you. i wish i could not love you anymore, but i still do...

sign.....it's another sleepless nite again...good nite to you ting....may u have sweet dreams only...sleep tight...it's another cold nite...please cover up tight and warm...

"if it's possible, please throw all your pain to me and i'll suffer them for you."

+my darlings+

2004-12-13T00:17:00.000+08:00

look at my 2 new darlings!!! my new star turtle and blue tongue skink!!! check them out!!!!

2004-12-13T00:16:00.000+08:00

my blue tongue skink.

2004-12-13T00:13:00.000+08:00

my lizzy......freaking cute!!

2004-12-13T00:12:00.000+08:00

here's looking at from guys!

2004-12-13T00:10:00.000+08:00

my star turtle!

2004-12-13T00:08:00.000+08:00

teenage mutant ninja turtle!

2004-12-13T00:06:00.000+08:00

here's looking at you!!!

+just for tonite+

2004-12-11T03:48:00.000+08:00

could not sleep. dun know why. could not stop thinking about you. dun know why. could not bear to give you up. dun know why. could not bear to let you go. dun know why. there's so many dun knows. but i know tat i still love you. and tat i'm missing you greatly. my dear baby ting...i'm really missing you a lot. have a good sleep. sweet dreams only. nites...i still love you...i'm sorry...

+it's not the same anymore+

2004-12-10T15:27:00.000+08:00

thing will not be the same anymore. true. ppl come and ppl go. things comes and things goes. things changed over time. everything? i dun know. perhaps...i guess it's true tat things changed over time. new become old, young become old, life becomes death.

ting...no matter wat i do now, i know it can't change a thing. maybe letting go was a good thing for us. or maybe letting go was a bad thing. i dun know. but as u know, i've always respect your wishes. so when u choose to let things and and break up, i had not much objections. true to a certain extend, we were each other's safety nets. always catching each other when we fall, always looking out for each other, always watching each other's back. perhaps tat is not gonna happen now. i dun know. there's always a big question and big dun know in life. maybe it's tat way for us.

we did had happy times together. and yes, i would agree tat it's really too short to end all those happy times. i did u a big wrong and i know tat watever way i try to make up for it or try to undo it, things will not be the same anymore. wats done has already being done. i can only regret and blame myself for it. it was a stupid mistake, but yet a mistake tat cost me big time. a mistake tat cost me you.

i wanted to truly love you. i really wanted to. but i had to make a mistake when i know tat i can and when i know i did. now tat's big time stupidness...and now...never could you look at me in the same way as before. no...i do want you to forgive me. cause i've really done a thing tat really broke your heart. maybe wat u did was rite, when you choose to break it off. i'll do u good. there's too much pain for you to bear. i told u before and i told myself before, never would i wanna see you upset or crying. but yet, i'm the one tat made you cried. i'm the one tat broke your heart. i'm sorry. but wats the use of my sorry when things already happened? when your tears are already flowing? i wish i can be there to wipe them away. but wat i really wish is tat i'm not the one who cause them to flow down in the first place.

could i let go? i dun know. over and over again i feel the pain in my heart. over and over again, i keep telling myself to let go, over and over again, i tell myself to be strong. but did i actually managed to do any of tis? i really dun know. could i do it? i dun know. rite now, life is really a big question and a big "i dun know" for me. funny how sometimes life gets you rite?

could i see you now as a fren or even as a stranger? could you see me tat way? if so, please do. i know it's better for you. at least u will not feel the hurt as much. if ever there's a suitation whereby the both of us have to get or be hurt, let me know. i'll always and gladly take all of the pain and let u walk away. NO. tis is not something tat i said to win your pity or any crap shit like tat. i'll do it cause 1 getting hurt is always better then 2 getting hurt. walk away without turning back your head k? dun ever turn back. least tis way, u'll not be able to see me at all. and in tis way, the hurt will not be there since u can't see it. it's better rite? it's noe selfless or noble or like watever, it's just something we both know we'll do for each other. but tis time, i'll rather be the one doing it. cause u've being thru too much pain for me to see.

of cause i would like to have a world where there is only the two of us. did we take too long to get together? if so, i can only blame myself. you were always there for me. always...without fail. and yet i let you down. of cause i wanna have only happy times with you only again. to hold you in my arms again, to hug you ever so tight again, to call you my baby once more, to have you again. i really wan tat. i wan tat so much. but it's all too late. way too late rite? i know....things will never be the same anymore. feelings will never be the same anymore. wats gone can't be found back rite? tat's wat you'll say rite? no doubt i'll agree with you. but only to some point baby. only to some point. i still love you. it's not a matter of letting og or not. the matter now is tat, ting my baby, i still love you.

so please, take care of yourself. u know you'll always catch a cold at nite if you dun cover up tight and warm. so pls cover up at nite k? remember tat. your nose is not tat good as well. tats another reason why u have to cover up. and try to learn to blow your nose k? it's not good to have them flowing backwards into your lungs. and if possible, pls go see a doc bout it k? remember to eat at the correct time k? dun always skip your meals k? both u and i know tats not good rite? you're strong. be strong. tats wat i like about you. and no.....you're not fat at all. and i really mean tat k? you're always wonderful to me.

on bad dreams...i know tat u always have bad or strange dreams when u slp. i really hope tat none of tis will happen again. i'll pray for only sweet dreams for you only. i hope tat someone up there hears me. well.....ok....to tell you the truth, after tat call u made tat week, i've being waiting for you to slp everyday. yes...maybe i'm waiting for tat call from you tat i know will not come. but i did hope for it. yup. the calls never come. so i waited. maybe i can't let go yet. maybe i can't let go at all. i dun know. i know u wan me to be happy. and yes, i really thank you for the thought. but i jus can't now. perhaps next time? i really dun know. rite now all i know is tat i'll still wait for you to slp in case you have any bad dreams, i'm still around in case u need me, in case u call me, in case you fall, just in case. true, i did lie to you before. but u know. u know it ting, tat i'll always be behind you catching you in case anything happen. pls dun ask me why i'm still doing it now. i really can't explain it to you. i'm doing it cause it's coming out of my heart and mind. i'm sorry if i pissed you off by doing so. i'm really sorry. but the thing is...i'm always be around and behind you when u need me.

cause ting...you're the most wonderful thing tat ever happened to me...

but then again, i guess it's really the end rite? well....to you ting...tis song's for you...for ting, my one and only gal tat i call her my baby only...you're the most wonderful thing tat has happened to me in tis life of mine...

Wonderful Tonight

It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."

We go to a party and everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady that's walking around with me.
And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?"
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight."

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you.

It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head,
So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed.
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight."

+ARGH!!! I just believe some ppl!!!+

2004-12-06T20:43:00.000+08:00

Ok...I'm like wondering...wats with some people? It's like once u made a mistake, they will like forever think tat u'll be like tis for the rest for your life. i mean....is tis fair or unfair? it's like "oh! you've made a mistake. and i know tat u'll carry on making tis mistake for the rest of your life." wats it with ppl? so someone broke your trust. ok. well....u just pick yourself up and carrying on walking on in life. and you learn to judge ppl from a different angle then.

and when i tell the truth, u choose not to believe me. ok....so i'm with tis gal now. and if so, if i'm with tis gal, then why am i the last one to know bout it? i mean it's like...."wow! i did not know tat i've a girlfriend now." or "woooo! i'm attached.....now how come i did not know bout it? hmmmm.....i wonder?" wats tis? i dun know...i'm slowly picking up my life again. so i did not know tat caring too much for a person i like can lead to a breakup. wow! tats something new! true...i promise you tat i'll be there behind you no matter wat happens. and i'll still stay true to tat promise. no matter wat happens. dun ask me why. i dun know why. i only know i care bout you. but please....u have to learn how to trust ppl. why sure....one person lied to you and there you go...topple over the whole boat of ppl tat cares bout you. one bad egg does not spoils the whole basket gal. unless you choose to topple the whole basket yourself.

well....sometimes i wonder wat u take me as. true....i'm there for you whenever you're down. and i really hate to see your sad. but then again....sometimes....really....i do wonder where do i stand? where is my place? wat am i? i mean....up to even now, forgive me please...u did not tell me over these past 1 year plus, wat am i to you. u jus kept quiet whenever tis question pops up.

had a tok with ginger a few days ago. some of the stuff tat she told me really sets my mind thinking...where do i stand? wat am i? ok....so he has got a girlfriend and he does not tell you. ok....so he wanna cheat on his girlfriend. but u did not allow him to do tat. u see him as a fren. but why are you so upset on him not telling you tat he already has a girfriend? u only see him as a normal friend. tats all rite? ir there's more? i dun know. u're more upset with him. i dun mean to compare. pls dun be mistaken. i never compare anything ok? but if u're only seeing him as a fren and treating him as a fren, then wats wrong? there's nothing wrong with it rite? i dun know anymore. i'm having sleepless nites again. sign....................

and when i thought tat i'm able to climb out of my shell.......in a nut shell....the song below sums it all up...

Over And Over Again

It's been so long ago
When you waved my love goodbye
With sadness in your eyes
You left me wondering why
Yes I was hurt before
But it never felt so strong
Now I face the world thats wrong
Without you I can't go on

It's just the way I feel
I know we're meant to be
I'm praying day and night
Why can't you see

Over and over again
I feel the pain in my heart
Can we make a brand new start
Over and over again
I keep on loving you
There's no end

These times without you
Turned my life into a hell
Everyone can see
But no one can help
I did the best I could
To get you out of my mind
But I just couldn't lie
To prove I'm not that blind

Love is all I feel
I know we're meant to be
Don't waste our time this long
Angel angel come with me

Over and over again
I feel the pain in my heart
Can we make a brand new start
Over and over again
I keep on loving you
loving you

+Stewpig comp and everyday instructionsl+

2004-12-06T18:13:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!!!! after like such a long time. i'm able to log on into the internet! man! dun know wats wrong with my comp or phone line or wat else is there to blame? cn't be able to connect to the net for nearly a week already! man! tats such a killer! not to mention the fact tat i can't blog as well.....it's such a pain in the ass! but then again.....come to think of it, these few days i've being like at ease with myself.....without having internet. i'm slowly getting used to not having to use the net....oh ok.....here's a few interesting facts.....

Instructions for your love life

Ever notice how the operating instructions for your newly-bought home appliances always sound a bit naughty?

Or how bout those usage directions for medicines and beauty products?

Well, here's a collection of assorted instructions collected from real household products - from hand cream to epoxy glue, eye drops to fire extinguishers.

imagine if they were instructions for your love life.

For beginners:
1) rub gently on affected parts.
2) ensure both surfaces are clean, dry and free from grease and oil.
3) direct nozzle at heated area and depress firmly. (and repeatedly.) (if swelling occurs, don't worry - you're heading the right way.)

For easily-distracted partners:
1) do not attempt to remove while in operation.

For those too broke to buy contraceptives:
1) remove while still in operation.

For the kiasu:
1) do not insert more than one implement at any given time.

For the encore:
1) please wipe with a damp cloth and dry before reusing.

Some standard precautions:
1) for surface application only, not to be taken orally. (because it IS still illegal.)
2) maybe harmful if swallowed.
3) if accidentally swallowed, give one or two glasses of milk or water and induce vomiting.
4) if substance should enter the eye, rinse immediately with water. if irritation persists, consult a doctor.

For those who want a white wedding:
1) do not use if the inner seal is broken or missing.

And we hardly need to remind you:
1) keep out of reach of children.
2) not suitable for use on young infants. (or old infants, for that matter.)

For the contraceptives afterwards:
1) please dispose if it in the proper manner.

Some tips to combat falling birth rates:
1) take 3 times daily, before/after meals; or as required.
2) several days od use may be required to establish regularity.
3) when used as instructed, no special care is necessary.

For the eveready bunny type:
1) administer every 2 to 4 hours.

For the very vigorous:
1) remove contact lenses before use.

Quite common sense, really:
1) do not use while driving or operating heavy machinery.

For the extremely well-endowed:
1) shock hazard. do not open.

For those afraid of commitment:
1) discard 30 days after first opening.

For those in a hurry.
1) shake well before using.

well.....tats tats.......kinda interesting facts isn't it? everyday instructions tat can be refered to when your sex life needs help. :P

+Red Room+

2004-11-29T01:49:00.000+08:00

wooo.....being a while since i last blogged. :p getting lazy....wahahah! being down to red room on fri and sat. it's tis pub over at marine south. kinda out of the way i know.....but the place is like super cosy and super chilled out place to be. the outside part tat is....inside is like your normal typical pub....which i dun quite like.

went down with spancer and nadia and bf and kelvin. they were like over there so some time already...think it's like coming to a year already. they know most of the ppl over there and that it's like one big happy family there. spancer's still thinking of wotking over there! wahaha! guess my fri and sat will most likely be over there from now on...

man! it's really like super chilled out and cosy over there.....there's john, the guiter player over there who sings every fri and sat....tats the main reason why the guys goes there every weekend, the drinks are cheap. people are really friendly over there, and there's plenty of singing going around over there, no matter good or bad. and some of the singers there really caputre the mood og the songs....gosh....i remember tat when nadia and annie(john's gal) sang "love me" by collin ray, tears just flowed out of my eyes. k.....i gotta admit....i was thinking of ting at tat point of time. but nevertheless.....it's really a good place to be at. i'm really happy tat the guys found such a place like this.

and wooooo.....does spancer plays the guiter man!!! he rocks! there's tis song called "when you say nothing at all", spancer play's his own version of it and i sang along....it's like wow!!! wahahah!!! and i'm not the singing person! :P i sang it on fri nite..and boy am i hooked on to tat song. and spanz and me were singing the song on sat when i stayed over at his place on fri. and then on sat nite, he played and i sang it on stage. it's like wooooooo! and wow!!!! waahaahah! hee! i'm proud of myself on tat. cause i dun go up on stage to sing. hhhmmm......also, another reason must be the drinks tat i had....hee! had chivas mixed with green tea. yummy! tats really a nice drink. the green tea cover the taste of the chivas. nice!! but the kick tat came after tat was like woooo!

well without futher ado, here's the song tat i've being singing and driving everyone nuts bout....wahaha!!! :P

when you say nothing at all.

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I can never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd (the crowd)
Try as they may they could never define
What's been said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all

(You say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know that you need me..

+Crawling out of the shell+

2004-11-25T05:03:00.000+08:00

it's time to get my life back from the pieces tat have fallen. time to redirect where i wanna go. it's high time tat i came crawling of the shell tat i've being hiding for so long. finally dragged myself out after a long period of sickness. man! i can't believe it tat i've being sick since last wed. it's being a full week. came down with the runs, the flu, the cough, and worse of all....a freaking fever tat will not go away no matter wat pills i down or wat kinda crap i've being feeding my body.

being puking everything tat i've put in my mouth since last wed. finally felt better last nite, and can go out of the house today.

few things have being going thru my mind lately.

1) there are certain things tat one have to let go. no matter how dear it is to them. let a bird have it's freedom, once it had enough, it'll come flying back. how true...but they forgot to add another sentence behind...if it does not, be happy, it's seeking it's own happiness tat it can't find of you. why hold back, by holding back, you're only slowly killing it. by not giving it it's well-deserved freedom.

2) nothing is ever lasting in tis world. in time to come, death will take everything tat you ever held dear to yourself. dun think of forever. think of wat u had in the past and hold those memories dear to you. hold them deep in your heart and bring them out to give you strength and courage when the time comes for you to go on.

3) dun be sad. instead, try to be happy. knowing tat in the end, the one tat you ever loved so much and the one tat you ever hold so dear to you is happy.

4) dun be selfish. think outside the box.

5) a big big sorry from the bottom of my heart to you meiting, for all the things tat i've ever done wrong. for all the times tat i've made you sad. pls be happy. there should be no more tears for you anymore. instead, let there be happy times for you from tis day onwards.

6) lastly...bout me. somehow, dun know why, maybe by a stroke of luck, i've being offered a job by a close fren. it's an interesting offer i would say. to help set up a clothing cum cafe gallery over in either taiwan or thailand. it's an interesting concept. pay's not tat bad. i'm quite keen. but to everything, there's always a downside....i've to be based in tat country for bout 5 years. 5 solid years. man! i kinda freaked out when i heard bout it. but thinking back....i've not being doing anything much in my life, no nothing or wat so ever. tis might be a big break for me. it's either i gain something, or i lose everything i've ever had. should i take tis risk? by taking it, i'll be gone by next year after chinese new year. can i bear to leave everything behind? i'm really in a spot rite now. how should i think? wat should i do? should i go try it out? or should i just live a normal life here? will you hold me back like you used to? somehow in a way, i hope u'll hold me back, tell me tat u still need me to be behind you. just like wat i've promise you before. i really hope tat....hope tat i can hear it once again from your lips.

sign....i dun know wat am i now or wat i should do...

++

2004-11-19T01:26:00.000+08:00

U used my love for u as a tool for revenge against me for wat i did to you, and yet i dun hate or blame you. why is tis so? i dun feel hate for you. i dun feel tat u have hurt me. why am i feeling like tat?

i only blamed myself. the faults are all within me. it's me who did all the wrong doings. i'm the one who is at fault. i still see you everything i close my eyes. how can i just drop it like tat? i can't. i want to be brave and face everything. but i can't. u told me tat i should be loved by someone else. how can you say tat? i can't feel tat way.

letting go was never easy....but letting go of you was something tat has never crossed my mind before. how can i let go of you? i just can't.

i have to wake up? i guess tat i do have to. i know i can't hold your hand anymore. i know i can't hug you anymore. you're not beside me by my side anymore. you're not next to me in my bed anymore. is it all a dream? sometimes i really hope it is. maybe it's more easy tat way.

in the end, i still hope the best for you. i still wish you happiness. i wan you to be happy in watever you do. i dun wanna make you feel hurt anymore. i'll carry on...i know tat i've lost you forever already. i've to carry on. i can't cling on to the past anymore.

i still love you. and i'll carry on loving you. i'll always be behind you always. tats wat i promise you. but it's not because of a promise. it's wat my heart and mind and soul agree upon. i dun feel hurt towards wat u've done. but rite now and from now onwards, i can only see you from a distance and love you from a distance...

good bye ting....

+Soon...it'll be all over...soon...+

2004-11-18T21:04:00.000+08:00

you put it as all being a dream. it's so easy for you to say tat. it's all just a simple dream. i wonder where do i stand in tat dream. where am i? wat am i? u can tell me so easy tat u wanted out. u can tell me so easy tat u wanna be free.

go then. go be free. go be happy. tis is wat u wanted anyway. i'll give it to you. just like i've always give in to you. just like i've respect and obey your wishes everytime. i'll remove you from my memory. i shall close my eyes tonite and come to terms with my fear.

i've lost you forever. or is it tat you choose to be gone from me forever? which one is it? never mind. it does not matters anymore. i'll wake up now.

i love you. but are you taking my love for you and turning it into a sort of revenge against me?

i've finally come to understand tat fariy tales do not happens in tis real world. there's no happy endings at all. since it's all a dream, then it's high time to wake up already.

do u think i enjoy hurting myself as you so called it? i dun...but shit happens...

go and be happy...you're finally free to fly....

goodbye...

2004-11-18T18:48:00.000+08:00

and oh yeah....i did told u yesterday tat the last sm would be the last contact tat will be made.

+i dun care anymore+

2004-11-18T18:39:00.000+08:00

u know wat? i never ask you to bother bout me in the first place. just go away k. u're the one tat wanted to go away in the first place. u're the one tat wanted to be released from the pain and hurt. u're the one tat wanna be free. u're the one tat dun wanna fite anymore. u got all tat already k. so just go away. who ask you to bother bout me in the first place? u dun love me anymore wat. tat's wat u said k. a total of 4 times.

waiting? wats waiting to me? pls. i waited for you till the wee hours of the mornings everytime u had a bad dream or when u feel down. dun compare.

you're worried? or you're gulity? i dun know. u tell me.

+sorta fainted+

2004-11-18T06:58:00.000+08:00

hmmmm.......think sorta fainted just now for a short while in the living room. was on my way to the washroom to shower when suddenly i found my myself waking up on the floor. kinda freaky! checked myself.....not much damage done. showered and came out....wow....think it's like bout 3 or more days tat i've not slept...quite amazed at myself....man! i'm freezing rite now....how come when a person has a fever, tat person will feel cold instead of hot? thought fever is burning up? anyways.....had a heavy fit of coughing just now.....in fact, coughed till i puked. which is kinda amazing.....consisdering tat i did not have any food. cough out blood again....from smoking? i dun know...or issit tat there's nothing to puke out anymore? wow....sign.....i wanna slp....but dun know why i just can't. dun know why i'm afraid to close my eyes. dun know why i'm afraid to lie down on my bed...sign.....i'm coughing, having a very bad fever, and can't slp....wat can be worse?

+I Wanna Sleep....Really Wanna Sleep...+

+Fever+

2004-11-18T04:38:00.000+08:00

i'm burning up very badly now. coughing has gotten worse as well...body really paiunful. aching all over. sars? maybe....i dun know. can't see well now...nearly can't make it back just now...shit....i'm really burning up fast and bad...

+5.03+

2004-11-17T05:03:00.000+08:00

5.03AM and i can't get to slp. wonder how many hours it has being since i last slept...30 over hours? or 40 over hours? i have lost track. can a person's love for another drives tat person crazy in the end? wow....tat sounds scary...crap....i really hate my bed now. dun even feel like touching it. dun even wish to lie in it....sign....guess it's another sleepless nite again for me...

oh! and by the way...i did not know tat blood tasted so nice when one is in pain inside the heart...drip drip...slurp...drip...slurp...drip....drip....slurp....slurp....am i getting crazy? tat's a question i dun dare to ask myself...

+never love wrong+

2004-11-17T03:07:00.000+08:00

I dun regret loving you. i never regret loveing you. neither did i love the wrong person. i'm still loving you. it's not your fault tis happen. the fault is all mine. and i'll still be loving you no matter wat happens. there is never any wrong in loving you...the only thing wrong will be tat i never love you at all. which i did not. i still love you...

+losing my sleep+

2004-11-17T02:20:00.000+08:00

back from outside. being in a daze the whole day. let's see.....wat happened today. hhmmmm.....went out...in a daze...smoked bout 4-5 packs i think or maybe more...i really lost track...smoke finish buy....smoke finish buy...maybe more then 4 or 5 packs...got honked at by 2 or 3 cars or bikes while crossing the road...wow....seems like the road's mine man....just cross without looking...opps....tat's some major mistake i know....but dun know why it happened. in a daze i guess...hhhmmmm......up to tis point of blogging time, i realised something....there's always an excuse for something tat we do. no matter rite or wrong. i could have gotten killed today. luckly me.....i'm still here blogging...and i can put it all to being in a state of daze. wow...and if i got killed, hhmmmm....i'll just put it as i'm being careless...is tat a good way of putting it? maybe...rite?

seriously....i did not know tat once a person's mind is switched off, he/she dun really care bout wats happening around him/her. i just walked round and round to where ever my legs would take me. sit down when ever i'm tired, move when ever i'm re-charged. amazing i could still go on at tis rate without slp, food, even water! i'm really surpised at myself! i think i'm make a good test subject in any "castaway" contest!

i'm not sleeping....why am i not sleeping? i'm looking for the ans to tis very question. sleep. sleep can ease a person's mind, body and soul. then why am i not doing it? why am i not sleeping? why? why? why? why? there are so many whys in tis world. i wanna know them all....but for now...i wanna know why am i not sleeping....why does my mind refuse to shutdown and sleep. i thought of nothing today....i just carried on walking and walking and walking. to one point and then when there's no more road in front, i just turn back and walk back, and took a different intersection at the crossroads. wat am i writing man??!!! i dun know....thoughts just flow out...jumbled thoughts...confused thoughts.

my head hurts from too much banging. i'm coughing very bad now. smoking? hhhmmm....possible...my mind is shagged out...my body worn out...and yet they refuse to shut down....why is tis so???? wat's happening to me? i wanna slp....i need slp....i wanna forget....i wanna dream a different dream...i wan to be release....i wanna fly....but yet i'm falling....falling down ever so fast and hard....why is tis happening? and wat's happening to me?

it's simple...why i dun wanna slp....everytime i close my eyes, i see her face, everytime i close my eyes, i see her smiling face looking down at me. everytime i close my eyes, i see her...i always see her when i close my eyes....it hurts....it really hurts...my heart hurts....it hurts so much. wat can i do bout it? wat can you do bout it? i dun wanna think anymore.....but the harder i try to forget, the more i remember...the more i close my eyes, i see you coming closer in my mind...why is it like tat??? it's should a bad way of ending it. such a bad way...

fuck it.....i'm out of smokes....i'm going out to buy some more and to take another long and senseless walk...will remind myself to stay clear of the roads....least i get killed...

i dun wanna close my eyes, i dun wanna sleep....cause everytime i see you when i close my eyes...

+unbelievable+

2004-11-16T12:58:00.000+08:00

Wow...It's the afternoon and I've still not slp. I'm very much amazed at myself. Being thru 3 or issit 4 packs of smokes. I really can't remember. I pretty amazed at tat as well. Man....I'm so stone now....And throat hurts like hell...Think it's all clogged up with smoke and stuff anyways...It's amazing tat I can stay up for more then 12 hours straight. Without blinking an eye lid. I'm really really amazed at myself. Watching the cats roam around down my block as I smoked, watching ppl going to work, watching housewives going to the market, watching children coming out early to play. Watching the rain fall down on me. Feeling the rain on me. It's being a long time since I last had a walk in the rain. Walked over to her place. Dun know why, dun know how. Upon reaching, I just turned back and walk home. Dun know why, dun know how oso. Perhaps I dun wanna be a nuisance to her and trouble her. I know she's sleeping...She's having sweet dreams only...And I dun wanna disturb her on tat. Cause she seldom have good dreams...

can someone knock me out? Or stash me away somewhere? somewhere where no one knows me? Where I can feel nothing at all? Where I can say I truly love ting without hurting her? Or better yet...Somebody...Kill me...

I wanna sleep.....I wanna sleep so badly....I need sleep....I wanna escape...

+losing it+

2004-11-16T07:45:00.000+08:00

it's 7 plus i think....i think i'm starting to lose my mind...i wanna slp...wanna forget...but i just can't slp...no matter how many times i tried to bang my freaking head against the wall...i just seem to be able to knock myself out...i wanna slp....

+Where is the sleep?+

2004-11-16T05:49:00.000+08:00

it's 5.49...i still can't sleep...am i losing it? i dun know...

+sleep+

2004-11-16T04:19:00.000+08:00

it's 4.19...i can't sleep...

+解脫/She's Gone+

2004-11-16T03:32:00.000+08:00

解脫　

愛是不夜城回憶像星辰
熱淚越沸騰我越感覺有點冷
變了心的人越想越傷人
枯坐到清晨陽光替房間開了燈

想若結局一樣又何苦再想
傷若讓人成長我為什麼怕分手的傷

解脫是肯承認這是個錯我不應該還不放手
你有自由走我有自由好好過
解脫是懂擦乾淚看以後找個新方向往前走
這世界遼闊我總會實現一個夢

想若結局一樣又何苦再想
傷若讓人成長我為什麼怕分手的傷

解脫是肯承認這是個錯我不應該還不放手
你有自由走我有自由好好過

心裡有一種渴望勇敢的念頭
不要愛我的人再擔心我

解脫是肯承認這是個錯我不應該還不放手
你有自由走我有自由好好過
解脫是懂擦乾淚看以後找個新方向往前走
這世界遼闊我總會實現一個夢

SHE'S GONE

Every where I go
Everywhere I turn
I can see your face each time I burn
everything it rains
Each time it snows
I can hear your voice everywhere I go

And time,
It heals every pain
So that's what they say
And I ??.Would give anything
To make you come back to stay

She's gone
I didn't know it was so long
If I can't feel her in my arms
The days will be long and it will go on and on
She's gone
I didn't know it was so long
If I can't feel her in my arms
I'll sit here alone
The pain will go on and on
Oh no...........mmmmmmm

With every breath I take, And every step I make
I would see you here in this world I make
And thru the pouring rain And the blinding snow
I can hear your voice everywhere I go

And time,
It heals every pain
So that's what they say
And I ??.Would give anything
To make you come back to stay

She's gone
I didn't know it was so long
If I can't feel her in my arms
The days will be long and it will go on and on
She's gone
I didn't know it was so long
If I can't feel her in my arms
I'll sit here alone
The pain will go on and on

I know that I need her
In every thing I do
Goodbye ?Is not the word I need to hear

She's gone
I didn't know it was so long
If I can't feel her in my arms
The days will be long and it will go on and on
She's gone
I didn't know it was so long
If I can't feel her in my arms
I'll sit here alone
The pain will go on and on

one song, two different singers, with two different version, with two different ppl covering it, with 2 different ppl of different gender singing it, with two different meaning to the songs. wat a very funny thing to happen. One song. Two ppl of different sexes singing it. With two totally different version.

one's bout letting go and becoming stronger. The other is bout holding back and hoping tat the person will come back. 1 song. 2 meanings. And both are like totally opposing each other.

well...Both these 2 songs can really reflect on how I feel rite now. Should I let go and be stronger? Or should I wait and hope tat she'll come back someday? I really dun know. There are so much I dun know now. so much so much. I have a very weird feeling now. The feeling is like there's a lot I wanna know but yet it seems like I'll never know feeling. It's making me feel so scared. wat should I do? Which of the song should I choose? Which path would be better for me? I'm really confused rite now. so very confused...

it's my fault. It's all my bloody fault. My fault for making her angry all the time. My fault for fighting with her all the time. My fault for not giving in to her all the times. My fault for not being caring enough to her all the time. My fault for not being understanding enough towards her all the time. My fault for not understanding her needs all the time. My fault for not making her happy all the time. My fault for not fetching her home from work all the time. My fault for going clubbing all the time. My fault for ignoring her all the time. My fault for making her wait for me all the time. My fault for making her cry all the time. My fault for making her getting worried all the time. My fault for making her getting pissed off at me all the time. My fault for leaving her alone all the time. My fault for slamming down the phone on her all the time. My fault for arguing with her all the time. My fault for not making her happy all the time. And a whole lot more my faults. Cause I really do believe tat it's all my fault.

over tis past year...I dun think I've made her feel safe round me. Perhaps I'm really not up to standards as a bf. I dun make a very good bf I guess...The more I try to make up for things, the more hurt she will be. I wanna make up for so many things. I really wan to. But how come everytime when I make up for a certain thing, something always goes wrong? wat's wrong with me? I really wanna know. tis is someone I can really love and I do know tat I love. But she is gone already. I'm really lost now. I'm in a daze...Hoping tat tis is some kinda sick nitemare. But after so many knocks on the heads and the pain infliction, I really realized tat it's not a dream at all. It's real. real as life. real as me and you. It's not a dream...

it's all my fault. If I did not stray away in the first place, nothing would have happen. Because of my mistake, I have to pay a very heavy price. I have lost the love of the one tat I know I love. For once in my life, for once...When I know tat I really and truly love someone, I have to screw it up myself. wat irony. If I can undo everything now. If only...

I'm picking the second song..."She's gone" the song of hope. The song of holding back for her. The song tat makes me wanna wait for her. I'm gonna wait. Cause I still love ting. Nothing has changed in my feelings for her. The only thing tat has changed is tat I'm falling more and more in love with her only. I dun hate her....I really dun...Cause somehow...When I think of my love for her, any bad feelings would just disappear. I will wait. I'm waiting. Why? No why? Only one word...Love.....

+she's gone+

2004-11-16T02:23:00.000+08:00

she told me she dun love me any more....i heard it from her own mouth...is it a dream? no...it does hurt when i banged my head against the wall. so therefore, i'm not dreaming. it's true. she did tell me tat she dun love me anymore. we have come to and end...

she does not love me anymore...

+My Heart, My Mind, My Soul+

2004-11-15T04:21:00.000+08:00

today i did something i should have done a long time ago...soul searching...why am i doing so much? or is it so much or nothing at all? why am i still fighting with you? is it fighting? or is it our way of toking to each other? why we dun see eye to eye with each other? or is it our way of telling each other tat we care for each other? why is so many things bad happening to us? is it tat we're meant to brave all this through or it's just fated to be?

finally...i stopped and ask myself today...

i asked my heart, i asked my mind, i asked my soul.

after asking them, they took some time to think things through...and the ans tat each of them gave me was tis...my heart told me tat i love u...and it's truly love you. my mind told me tat i care for you. and my soul told me tat i'm in love with you.

so no matter how hard our road or my road goes, i'm willing to throw out everything and brave anything tats comes in my way. it's not something tats worth to try again. it's everything bout you tat matters to me tat makes me wanna try and try again...keep on trying. my ans...i'm willing to try cause you're more then worth it. cause i still love you. and tat's the ans tat i've given myself. i dun know bout you. but tis is my ans to myself...

+Is It Worth To Try+

2004-11-14T13:54:00.000+08:00

Wat's with the fighting again? Why do we have to fight all the time? Ok...I do admit it's my stupid mistake yesterday for thinking tat you went out while you're sick while in fact, you well and jumpy and not sick anymore. So it's my fault for getting too worried over nothing. I can't be worried issit? It's not bout tat the thing tat I'm not happy with u going out with your friends. It's not bout me tat's upset or unhappy tat you went out with your friends till the point tat I've to "ruin" your nite. But then again, thanks for tat "ruin night" comment though. So being over worried is also wrong. Fine. I worried too much rite? u've all grown up. and now u're telling me tat you've all grown up. ok...tat's cool.

u told me u dun wanna fight. U told me u wanted to have a good tok. ok...Fine...a good tok we shall have then. But when I tried to tok things over, u had to interrupt by saying u wanna put down the phone. ok...I accept the reason tat u drank and u're starting to feel unwell. But can u put it in a nicer way? I really dun see the point of u venting your anger at me when I've done nothing wrong. Yes. I really do feel hurt and upset ok. I'm oso a human. I do have feelings and I do feel as well. I tok things out nicely and yet I get back tic kinda treatment. wat the fuck! Do I deserve tic? NO!!! No! I seriously dun think so k! Then wat's the use of being a nice person anymore when ppl just dun take your goodness and kindness into view? wat's the whole fucking point? so tat I can just be there for ppl to vent out their anger? so tat I can be a toy? a toy tat can be broken into pieces and then put together again for the next smash? so tat's wat trying to being a good person is like. To be broken down into small small pieces and then put back together again for the next throw or next session of "anger ventment treatment" issit? Nope...Sorry...Things dun work tis way k. tats fucking selfish. Pure fucked up selfishness.

But then again, I really must say. The ultimate finishing move is when she said tat i carried on for the sake of carrying on. WOW!! man! i can't and cannot believe tat she did actually said those words out. and it's from her own mouth.

FROM HER HEART, TO WHICH SHE REALLY FELT TAT, TO HER MIND, WHERE SHE KEPT ON THINKING BOUT TAT, TO HER MOUTH AND HER LIPS, WHERE THE WORDS CAME OUT.

yes. tat my dear gal...is the finishing move last nite. u were actually thinking of tat thought all the time. wow! tat's amazing! u know....even rite now as i'm blogging, i'm at a loss for words rite now. i dun even know wat to type anymore. those words are just too much for me to handle. just too much. i can't think rite now. wat i can think of is the image of you saying out all those words to me. u're really too much. never once was my love for u fake when we got back together again. NEVER!!! FUCK IT!! i'm really fucking pissed rite now. FUCK THE WHOLE WORLD MAN! WHY MUST TIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME??? ARGH!!!!!! FUCK THE WHOLE WORLD!!! FUCK YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU!!!! FUCK IT!!! FUCK A FUNNEL AND SCREW A CAT MAN!!!

wat's there to be done now? tell me then. wat's there left to be freaking screwing fucking done now? it's a thought. i'll go chain smoke while trying to think bout it.now tat's a nice thought. no....not the thinking part....it's the chain smoking part.

issit even worth to try things again...

+How Should I?+

2004-11-13T04:54:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry for making u think tat I'm uncaring towards you.
I'm sorry for making mistakes tat hurt your heart.
I'm sorry tat I'm not there for you whenever you need me.
I'm sorry for making you cry always.
I'm sorry for making you feel unsafe all the time.
I'm sorry for making you feeling wat you're feeling now cause of me.
I'm sorry for everything I've done tat hurt you.

I do care. I really do. Though it may appear tat I dun care bout you or tat I dun have the time for you. Baby....I always have the time for you. Just tell me and I'll be there. I know it's a hard time for you rite now. I know tat. And I'm willing to go all the way out for you. It's not tat I'm doing too much for you or whatever. It's oso not something like it's wat I should do. I dun know why I do it. I just do it. it just comes out from both my heart, mind and soul. I can't stop it as well. I dun wan to ask you to stop thinking bout wat had happened. It's hard.....So very very hard I know. Take your time k baby? I'll always be around. Always two steps behind you always. And tats a lifetime promise to you tat u know I'll keep. No matter wat happens to us. Till old age and through tis life. I'll always be behind you. And rite now, the only thing tat I wan from you is to have you get well fast, so tat u'll not suffer anymore from illness, and we can go out and make enjoy each other with happy times. And oso I dun wanna see you sick anymore. I feel so helpless when ever I can't do a thing to ease your pain. I hope to be more then a bf. I wish to be the one tat can take care of you whenever you're down. To be always there for you when u need me. If time is wat it's gonna take for you to believe in me again, then I'm willing to brave time along with you. No matter wat happens k? I'll always be there for you. 24/7, always a whisper away from you when you need me...never too far, always near you baby...cause i love you. i love you before, now, and tomolo, and many tomolos onwards. i hope u can trust and believe me in tis...

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

2004-11-13T04:38:00.000+08:00

+May We Have Many More Happy Times Together Forever+

+Back+

2004-11-12T15:59:00.000+08:00

Hey guys....I'm back to the blogging world. Wow...Did not realized tat it's being a week since I last blogged. And the thing is tat I'm not even busy...hmmm....Another touch of the writer's block? I dun know....I dun think so as well....Just dun have the mood to block. hhmmmm.....Let's see then....wat have I done over the past week....Tat makes it bout 7 days....Which 1 was super great and happy, the 5 was great. And the last day, yesterday, was boring....

4th Nov....The great and happy day.

it's my birthday. And ting suggested tat we head on over to wild wild wet to have a day to ourselves. We did enjoyed ourselves. Only tat the bad part is tat the rain came down. And being the skinny people tat we are, we could not stand the cold and therefore we decided to leave early. After trying only 2 rides. Of cause ting was upset. But hey baby.....There's always another time rite? I just dun wan you to catch a cold and get sick. Went for 2 movies in a row after dinner with my brother and Patrick. Watched princess's diary and the doll master. Ting got freaked out by doll master and came over to my place to sleep over. hee! I can still recall the way she put her hands up to her face to cover up her face whenever the doll comes out. Silly gal! It's only a movie. Dun be scared. U got me beside you wat. Dun worry....Well.....All in all.....It's really a nice and happy day for me. I had my baby all to myself for the whole day. And ting....Dun feel bad bout not getting me anything...U being there enjoying yourself with me is more then enough. I dun need presents. u're already more then the joy then whatever present can give me. muaks! I really did enjoy myself tat day. Thanks baby.

11th Nov...Yesterday...

tis is not good. My baby's sick and I can't do anything bout it except to wait for her in case she need me for anything. Man! I really detest tis kinda feeling. To be there but yet unable to do anything. I want to do all that I can to make her feel better again. But rite now, I can only wait. It's not tat I dun mind waiting, but it's just tat I can't do anything to help her while I wait. Tat sucks. I can only hope tat she gets better soon. It's really difficult for ting to get sick. She takes a longer time to heal and get well. Her nose will give her problems again and her fever will be on and off. I really wish I can do something bout it, and not just stand there waiting for something to happen.

another thing....Read her blog. Can relate and understand how she feels. I dun know wat I should do rite now oso. wat's the rite thing to be done, wats the rite words to be spoken, how I should react. I can only see wat will happen when time pass. It's being a long hard road for us. And I really hope nothing is gonna tear us apart again. Well....I'll have to work harder I guess! To make her feel the same way tat she felt as before.

+HAPPY BIRTHDAY!+

2004-11-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy hatchday to me,
happy hatchday to me,
happy hatchday to me....
happy freaking another year older again hatchday to me...

+Durffy+

2004-11-03T01:00:00.000+08:00

just came back not long ago. had a walk woth my baby and durffy. the third party cum dog tats supposed to be mine for $25. ya....tats the price tat ting offered to sell me at. since she's eyeing my pug tat i'm getting for us. durffy's only trick is knowing how to mop the floor with itself. just slide him across any floor and *poof!* the floor's clean!

let's see...over the night....wat we managed to achived...

1) tat dog nearly pissed on my bag.
2) showed me at LOOK such tat i've to share my fries with him...man! tat look of his could melt me man! :P
3) kana told off by starbuck's staff.
4) still wondering how come he has to walk from simei to tampines and then back again without doing anything. (pssst...durffy...let me and ting have sometime alone lah. even if it's a walk like tis, i'm happy already. next time give u 1 bag of fries without ting's knowing k?)
5) took a ride in an NTUC trolley.
6) he ended up super shagged out.

well...even if it's only meeting my baby for a short while tonite, even if it's only walking durffy, it's more then enough for me. to hold her hand and just walk to nowhere and jus laugh at our stupid jokes, life suddden has a meaning. simple is more then enough for me. and for so long, i've being searching for this simple thing. and now, i've found it. yup baby....i really enjoy myself tonite. muacks! thanks for making it so enjoyable ting. love ya...

+Stick Boy And Match Girl In Love+

2004-11-01T01:15:00.001+08:00

taken off a book by tim burton...my all time fav writer...

+STICK BOY AND MATCH GAL IN LOVE+

Stick Boy liked Match Girl,

he liked her a lot.

He liked her cute figure,

he thought she was hot.

But could a flame ever burn

for a match and a stick?

It did quite literally;

he burned up pretty quick.

2004-11-01T00:26:00.001+08:00

+The New Rugged Look+

2004-11-01T00:26:00.000+08:00

+Here's Looking At You!+

2004-11-01T00:24:00.000+08:00

+All Decked Out For A Night Of Fun+

2004-11-01T00:22:00.000+08:00

+The True Shaggy+

2004-11-01T00:20:00.000+08:00

+The God Father Of Bedok Interchange+

+Billy Bombers! It's DA Bomb!+

2004-10-31T23:53:00.000+08:00

being some time since i actually blogged. dun really have the mood to blog for the last week. writer's block? me? a writer? na! just someone tat jus pens down one's thought...tats all. well had a very VERY heavy dinner last thur over at billy bombers. man! it's really worth it! me and ting went in on a very empty tummy and came out really over stuffed with food! we had to struggle like crazy to jus put food into our mouths...ya...it's tat much food...look at da pics man! seeing is believing. :P

2004-10-31T23:52:00.000+08:00

her drink choice...pink strawberry...only pink k!

2004-10-31T23:50:00.000+08:00

choco milk shake! for me! me! ME ONLY! na...my baby can have some of it... :P

2004-10-31T23:49:00.000+08:00

my choice...fish & chip minus the chips with steak...

2004-10-31T23:48:00.000+08:00

my baby's choice...chicken and baby ribs...